January 2023 – How can the self-help guidebook combined with professional institutions help people with eating disorders (15-35) in China establish healthy lifestyles within the family environment?

30th January 202328th July 2023

2023/01/28 Model Making

Inspire by Glen Taylor and Pierre Sernet. I decided to use various materials to make my conceptual model. It includes timber, clay, knitting wool, paper and fabric. Firstly, I used timber sticks to build a cube shape frame. And then, I divided the cube into four parts to explain the journey of eating disorders. They are “Sick”, “Incident”, “Recover”, and “Normal”. I use different materials to represent various situations in each part. The advantage of multiple materials is they are different in texture, colour and transparency. Thus, it can help me to clarify those four parts which I mentioned in the earlier time. Therefore, light and colour become vital elements in my model. I’ll explain that in the following words with photos.

First, I show a brief view of my model.

A diagram explains the model concept.

Concept of My Conceptual Model in Plan View

Part 1 “Sick”

“Sick” is the darkest and most complex part of the model. Bruder Klaus Field Chaple, The chapel design by Swiss architect Piet Zumthor, inspired this part. In this part, I aim to create an intense and depressed space. Therefore, it has a narrow and sharp space inside.

Bruder Klaus Field Chapel, <Peter Zumthor-Buildings and Projects> Volum 3

Sections of Bruder Klaus Field Chapel , <Peter Zumthor-Buildings and Projects> Volum 3

Inside of Bruder Klaus Field Chapel, <Peter Zumthor-Buildings and Projects> Volum 3

Part 2 “Incident”

This part forms by knitting wool. Compared with “Sick”, “Incident” is less than the sense of “forbidden area”. It’s more like a semi-open space. Material is softer and more colourful. Meanwhile, lights start to go through barriers.

I look back at Peter Zumthor’s work after finishing the model. And I realise the “Incident” has the same design logic as Bregenz Art Museum. The building’s facade was inspired by fog on the lake. Both of them are semi-transparency spaces. However, it’s no doubt that Zumthor’s project is more delicate and elegant than my work.

Inside of Bregenz Art Museum, <Peter Zumthor-Buildings and Projects> Volum 1

Exhibition Hall of Bregenz Art Museum, <Peter Zumthor-Buildings and Projects> Volum 1

Part 3 “Recover”

The precedent study of this part is the Cuadra San Cristobal design by Luis Barragán. Besides having a substantial visual impact, the whole building project is full of joy and passion. I want to keep his building atmosphere. Hence, I decided to put a series of open walls and doors with bright papers in “Recover” after I referred to his plan.

Soft and Bright Buffers in “Recover” Part

Open Walls in Cuadra San Cristobal, Photo from AMPC Studio (2021)

Water Landscape in Cuadra San Cristobal, Photo from AMPC Studio (2021)

Cuadra San Cristobal – Luis Barragan

Part 4 “Normal”

“Normal” is a Neutral State between “Sick” and “Recover”. It’s a tricky state. I made an open space in there. It represents people can choose by themself to go to either side. “Normal” is a connection, also a decision. It’s up to people’s minds. Besides, it’s also the current situation that I have. I’m back to “Normal” now. But still can go back to “Sick” or stay in “Normal”. Or return to “Recover”. It’s hard to say. It depends on what my decision is.

Looking through Layers

Process of Model Making

30th January 202325th July 2023

2023/01/24 Be a Lady They Said – Girls. Girls. Girls. Magazine

Directed by Paul McLean
Words by Camille Rainville
Narrated by Cynthia Nixon
Produced by Claire Rothstein
Post by mini CONTENT
Music by Louis Souyave

Be a lady they said. Your skirt is too short. Your shirt is too low. Don’t show so much skin. Cover up. Leave something to the imagination. Don’t be a temptress. Men can’t control themselves. Men have needs. Look sexy. Look hot. Don’t be so provocative. You’re asking for it. Wear black. Wear heels. You’re too dressed up. You’re too dressed down. You look like you’ve let yourself go.

Be a lady they said. Don’t be too fat. Don’t be too thin. Eat up. Slim down. Stop eating so much. Order a salad. Don’t eat carbs. Skip dessert. Go on a diet. God, you look like a skeleton. Why don’t you just eat? You look emaciated. You look sick. Men like women with some meat on their bones. Be a size zero. Be a double zero. Be nothing. Be less than nothing.

Be a lady they said. Remove your body hair. Bleach this. Bleach that. Eradicate your scars. Cover your stretch marks. Plump your lips. Botox your wrinkles. Lift your face. Tuck your tummy. Perk up your boobs. Look natural. You’re trying too hard. You look overdone. Men don’t like girls who try too hard.

Be a lady they said. Wear makeup. Highlight your cheekbones. Line your lids. Fill in your brows. Lengthen your lashes. Colour your lips. Powder, blush, bronze, highlight. Your hair is too short. Dye your hair. Not blue, that looks unnatural. Look young. Old is ugly. Men don’t like ugly.

Be a lady they said. Save yourself. Be pure. Don’t be a whore. Don’t sleep around. Men don’t like sluts. Don’t be a prude. Don’t be so up tight. Smile more. Pleasure men. Be experienced. Be sexual. Be innocent. Be dirty. Be the cool girl. Don’t be like the other girls.

Be a lady they said. Don’t talk too loud. Don’t talk too much. Don’t be intimidating. Why are you so miserable? Don’t be a bitch. Don’t be so bossy. Don’t be so emotional. Don’t cry. Don’t yell. Don’t swear. Endure the pain. Don’t complain. Fold his clothes. Cook his dinner. Keep him happy. That’s a woman’s job. You’ll make a good wife some day. Take his last name. You hyphenated your name? Crazy feminist. Give him children. You don’t want children? You will some day. You’ll change your mind.

Be a lady they said. Don’t get raped. Don’t drink too much. Don’t walk alone. Don’t go out too late. Don’t dress like that. Don’t get drunk. Don’t smile at strangers. Don’t go out at night. Don’t trust anyone. Don’t say yes. Don’t say no.

Just “be a lady” they said.

29th January 202325th July 2023

2023/01/23 Methodology

During the tutorial on Monday. I decided to use my architectural skill to explore my journey of eating disorders. I will make a conceptual model to curry on my project.

Here is a selection from my architecture portfolio at the Sheffield School of Architecture.

‘Plan, Analysis and Relationship’ These are three keywords I learn after the tutorial.

Plan: Architecture technical drawing. I am using my architectural skill on projects.

Analysis: Analyse any factors I put in projects.

Relationship: Keep remembering the relationship with food. Build /Broken relationships.

29th January 202325th July 2023

2023/01/22 Inspiration: Pierre Sernet

Context- Outside

In the series “One”, often referred to as his “Guerrilla Tea” series, he presents photographs in which randomly selected guests, from a variety of cultural worlds and backgrounds, is invited and shown sharing a bowl of Tea.

Utilizing a stylized Japanese Tea Room in the shape of a cube, in which he performs traditional Tea ceremonies, Sernet plays on the juxtaposition of out-of-context and apparently incompatible cultures or environments.

With the cube being used as a conceptual space, Sernet invites viewers to place their own set of cultural, spiritual, religious or philosophical values within it.

The purpose is to have audiences question the cube’s opposition or similarities to the diverse environment in which it is placed and have viewers see each of these spaces in a new and different way, ultimately showing that these seemingly different and incompatible worlds are in fact based on similar universal values that can enable seemingly different worlds to cohabit together.

Artist’s Website: http://pierresernet.com/one/

29th January 202325th July 2023

2023/01/22 Inspiration: Glen Taylor

Context-Inside

So they told me the rules, “do this” they said.
And I did, and their rules crushed my heart.
So me and my heart, we made our own rules,
and I put my heart in front of you now,
and I dare to love. And I say “do this”
-Glen Taylor, 2022/11/15

Artist Glen Taylor soldiers ridges of metal to porcelain fragments, completing a halved teacup or broken saucer with a range of unusual materials: barbed wire, tarnished silverware, old book pages, and multicoloured twine form a portion of the household objects. Each intervention contrasts the pristine, delicate qualities of the porcelain with visible rust, unwieldy strings, and patchwork metals.

A cabinetmaker for much of his life, Taylor originally worked with pottery but found it limiting until he started breaking his ceramics into pieces. “I had read about the ancient art of Kintsugi and decades before I had learned how to copper foil and solder stained glass windows. All of a sudden I felt the emotional expressive range was infinite,” he writes. A Japanese art form, Kintsugi is the process of fixing broken pottery and celebrating the repairs, rather than try to hide them.

Now, Taylor gathers materials at auctions and estate sales, choosing pieces that spur an emotional response or nostalgia for his childhood, although some objects have a more personal connection. “For years, I have had my grandmother’s dishes in the attic, wondering what to do with them,” he says. “My mother died last year and so I have let the grieving process appear when it needs to. I released a lot of emotions about my mother when I started breaking the dishes that she grew up with.”

The artist tells Colossal that the broken pieces also are symbolic of imperfection. “As I began mending and recreating my broken pottery, the personal therapy and healing became the whole point,” he says. “I reached an age where I began sorting through the emotional baggage of my life, and the elements for my work became apparent.”

Artist’s Instagram: glenmartintaylor

29th January 202325th July 2023

2023/01/22 The Incident

2016 is an important year for me. I was watching an American TV Drama called . There has a famous script “Remember, they’re just food…they’re not love.” Those words are really like an “Apricity” that comes to me. It likes the warmth of the sun during winter. Because, at that time, I felt utterly exhausted from my eating disorders. I thought I was going to be like this forever.

Luckily, I have new thoughts about food after watching this episode. Food is just food, one of the simplest things in the world. If I eat a lot today, I can eat less tomorrow. I felt pain at that time because I made it complicated. Therefore, I started to correct my diet. Finally, my life has changed.

29th January 202325th July 2023

2023/01/20 What’s inside my box? And the answer is…

Eating Disorder.

According to the NHS definition, It is a mental health condition where unhealthy eating behaviours are used to cope with complicated feelings and issues.

I have suffered from an eating disorder for six years, from 2010 to 2016. It starts in my high school. When an eating disorder strikes, I eat a lot more than usual.

I’m born into a traditional Asia family. Of course, My parents love me. But they also want me to become a “good girl” conventionally, be acquiescent and be gentle. As the time I grew up, I felt lost in my way. On the one hand, I am still in the “good girl” field, making everyone feel happy except myself.

On the other hand, I’ve realised I can have different roles in my life. Not just someone’s daughter. The change in my mind made me feel stressed. However, I couldn’t do anything then because I was just a teenager. Food is the only thing I can control.

Therefore, I start to eat a lot. It is a lot. I can eat a big size pizza by myself for lunch or dinner. After that, I also eat cake, cookies and sugar. “Eat” has become a heavy duty in my daily life. I felt my stomach has a hole. It can afford anything. But apparently, it doesn’t. I throw up, eat, and throw up again—a vicious circle.

Meanwhile, my parents didn’t know I was sick. They just thought I’m just hungry because I was a teenager. A teenager should eat a lot.

I felt shame to tell anyone I’ve got a mental health problem. Because there has an invisible rule for fame in traditional thought: “a girl shouldn’t eat a lot.” It is a wrong thing, but I hadn’t realised that. Therefore, I keep using food to cover my anxiety. And I tried to draw my feelings.

<Sweet Tooth>
2014-2015
A self-portrait to document every cake I’ve ever eaten

<Marshmallo>
2014
Keep track of what I have eaten

<Brainstorm>
2015
A self-portrait to show my state of mind at the time

28th January 202325th July 2023

2023/01/17 Meet “Box of Uncertainty”

The second project in my MA Applied Immigration course.

Really abstract subject.

According to the Brief, “We would like you to identify or produce a range of objects, or resources, that can be placed into your ‘box of uncertainties’. These objects and resources are intended to represent materials, artefacts, and experiences in your life that provoke you to ask questions about the unknown or places in your areas of interest that you are uncertain about.” I start to look back at my life experience…