2023/08/27 The 3rd Intervention-“A Table of Modern Chinese Elegance”.

China’s culinary civilisation mirrors Chinese culture, embodying the Chinese people’s values, attitudes towards life, and historical heritage. Whether the food on the dining table or the eating habits, they all demonstrate China’s unique cultural traits. I want to discuss something other than Chinese eating disorders in a Western psychological context.

On 21st August, I started my third project intervention-“A Table of Modern Chinese Elegance.” In this intervention, I want to go through the food stories of China’s Z era, I hope to reflect on the changes in Chinese food culture in the new era, as well as the family relationships and social phenomena behind the changes. So, I posted the poster on Chinese social media. Invite people to tell them stories with food. So far, I have received 15 stories and drawn 7 illustrations.

“An electronic barter, I exchange an illustration for your most impressive food story.”

What’s the story?

This is the last can of canned peaches my grandfather opened for me after his cancer advanced. At that time, he still looked fine physically, but I wasn't strong enough and couldn't open the can myself. My grandmother suggested that my grandfather help me, and unexpectedly, he managed to twist it open. That was something we didn't anticipate. After that, about half a year passed, and he had only enough strength left to walk around a little. Then, in November of last year, he passed away.

Later, I stopped choosing to eat canned peaches. The taste of the can, actually not very delicious with a strong artificial flavour, lingers in my memory, but because my grandfather opened it, I finished it. Since then, I particularly avoid seeing things packaged in such old-style cans because it reminds me of when my grandfather opened the can for me.
When I was a child, I lived with my grandmother, and she loved to fry potato slices for me. It was really simple, just potatoes with salt, but it tasted amazing. Now that I've grown up and developed my own sense of independence, I realize that parents often unconsciously want to control my thoughts. My thoughts have diverged from my grandmother's, but when I think of "potato slices," I can still feel her love for me. I hope that one day we can find a balance, loving each other while remaining independent individuals. I love her, but I have to love myself first.
When I was very young, I lived with my grandparents in a courtyard. During every Chinese New Year, relatives would bring back gifts, including big buckets of cola and Sprite. There would always be one or two bottles left after the gatherings, and it was something new and exciting back then. However, whenever I wanted to drink them at night, they always seemed to disappear. Later, I found out that the family next door, my uncle's family, took them. They had a cousin. I asked my grandmother if she could save a bottle for me after the gatherings, as I really liked them. On another occasion, I was quite worried until I saw a bottle of Sprite placed in the storage room, then I could finally go to bed peacefully.

Later, I overheard conversations among adults. I knew it was my aunt and grandmother talking. My grandmother even gave the Sprite to my aunt when she came to take some leftover snacks for her cousin.

Many similar incidents followed, and I slowly realized that I was the one without parents around to protect me. This made me become someone who lacked a sense of security and thought a lot for myself. This has led to my parents often saying that I'm not close to them. I don't blame my parents, nor do I blame my grandmother. But every time my parents say something like that, I feel a bit down. Now, I can buy plenty of cola and Sprite, but I still can't seem to get the understanding I need.
I came to the UK for my undergraduate studies in 2020. It's been three years, and I haven't been home once due to the pandemic and expensive flight prices. But honestly, I think it's also because deep down, I don't really want to go back. I want to escape from my original family. Yesterday, when I called my parents and asked about my grandparents' recent situation, I found out that my grandfather passed away two years ago. He passed away shortly after I left for abroad. I wasn't as close to my grandparents as I was to my grandfather. My grandmother doesn't use WeChat, so I only greet her on special occasions after I left. I didn't teach my grandparents how to use WeChat... My grandparents have always been good to me. They might not express themselves much, but I can feel their silent care.

My grandfather was particularly proud of me. He enjoyed fishing, and his skin was tanned. He lived on a small bed in my uncle's semi-basement. Whenever I went to my uncle's house for a meal and visited my grandfather, he would wipe the edge of his bed and ask me to sit there because he thought it was more comfortable. Then he would bring a small fishing stool and sit beside me. Before I went abroad, we had a meal together. I didn't expect that to be the last time I saw my grandfather. My mom told me he's in a place without pain now. During his illness, my mom told him I couldn't come back from abroad, and he understood. Not seeing my grandfather for the last time is my regret. I know what the adults were thinking, but I'm still sad. Why couldn't they call me for a video chat so I could see my grandfather one last time?

After I hung up with my mom, besides feeling sad, I suddenly felt hungry. I always thought people lose their appetite when sad, but I really wanted to eat something. There was food on the table, so I chose chocolate. I ate one after another until I finished the whole box. After eating the chocolate, my mood did improve, and I continued to write my paper and carry on with my life. I didn't think about my grandfather's matter until the evening. But this morning, I suddenly understood the adults' thoughts. It's not that they don't care, but they dare not think about it because life has to go on... Every time my mom, who never cries when talking about my grandfather, sheds tears in front of me, I dare not bring it up again.

The script link: http://kck.st/448WFTn

I created a script called "Chopped".The heroine is a Chinese chef in the US called Mei.
"Chopped" is a story about food, our relationship with food, and inherently, our culture and our identity.
The story comes from a personal place.
When I first arrived in the United States, after weeks of consuming burgers and fries, all I craved was a simple bowl of rice. As time passed and I found myself further away from home,
I clung to anything that reminded me of my roots—a feeling,
a flavor.
I learned how to cook here.
However, as I started sharing my cooking with others and taking friends to Chinese restaurants, I discovered that my palate was different.
Growing up, I was accustomed to spices, intestines, frogs— delicacies not easily found here.
My unique palette became a source of intrigue and even horror for my friends.
Despite the fact that we spend so much time eating, with three meals a day, I struggled to find someone who truly understood me.
Chopped explores a fascinating fantasy— what would a woman do when consumed by anger?
I find myself admiring Mei's spirit.
She is strong, talented, and completely devoted to her craft.
As a remarkable artist, Mei chooses to take an extreme stand against her husband, unleashing her passion and determination.
I dedicate this piece to myself and everyone who loves food but has to eat alone.
It was during Qingming Festival when my family and I went back to our hometown to sweep the graves. Apart from some distant and elderly relatives who lived near the ancestral hall and ancestral house, there weren't many people there. Most had moved to the city and were engaged in farming for their livelihoods. I don't remember my exact age, but I was around twelve or thirteen years old then. Since I had always lived in the city, I was curious about rural life.

At that time, I was playing and frolicking with my cousin in a small bamboo grove. Accidentally, I hit her head with a piece of bamboo. She cried for a long time. Later, my aunt brought us a plate of scrambled eggs to taste. The scrambled eggs looked like they had a lot of egg whites, but I really liked scrambled eggs, so I happily ate them. After the meal, my aunt told us that the white part was silkworm pupa. I couldn't describe it; you couldn't even tell it was there. I guess it was too small, white and egg-like. Looking back now, it seems a bit horrifying, but the taste really wasn't much different from scrambled eggs.
I'm not a big fan of eating bread, but when it's stuffed with meat and veggies and turns into a hamburger, I absolutely love it. My family doesn't mind me having fast food. When I was very young, my parents would accompany me to buy hamburgers. The three of us would walk hand in hand, buying hamburgers before dinner, laughing all the way home. Once home, each of us would have a hamburger and a cola, enjoying TV variety shows. These are the most cherished memories of my childhood.

As I grew older, with increasing academic pressure, I didn't follow the trend of going to the library to study every day like other classmates. Instead, I enjoyed going to the McDonald's downstairs, buying a hamburger, sitting by the window, eating while studying for a while, and occasionally looking outside when feeling tired. One time, while memorizing vocabulary, a sudden torrential rainstorm started outside. I was chewing on a hamburger and watching people on the street running for cover. In that moment, I felt like the safest and happiest person in the world.

Growing up, before I went abroad for my graduate studies, my mom knew I would miss the McDonald's in my home country. So, in the two weeks before my departure, she was constantly grabbing McDonald's discount coupons from TikTok. Sometimes she would find a good deal like a 99 yuan combo, and she would message my dad, telling him the whole family would have McDonald's that night. My dad would reply, "I'll be home early today."

After going abroad, I would often reward myself with a delicious hamburger after finishing my assignments or exams, to treat my overworked brain. Then, about half a year ago, I met my current boyfriend for the first time. We spontaneously decided to meet up and attend a concert. We couldn't find a suitable restaurant, so we ended up having hamburgers at a fast-food joint near the concert hall. While eating, some sauce accidentally dripped from my burger, and my boyfriend helped me find tissues. This spontaneous choice made our first meeting much more relaxed, and our conversation became more joyful.

Although a hamburger isn't anything extravagant, it has played a significant role in my current life. It's a simple delight that makes me feel like a kid every time I eat it. It might sound like a simple account, but I truly adore hamburgers!
I used to frequently enjoy Zhajiangmian (fried sauce noodles) in Beijing. One of my earliest memories of this dish is the one my grandma used to make for me in a small iron bowl, filled to the brim. As a child, I could easily devour two big bowls of it, and when I was full, I'd sometimes playfully tip the bowl over, spilling the noodles onto the ground. Unfortunately, my grandma passed away early, and my mom took over the task of making this delectable dish. Her version was equally delicious, and it became a weekly staple.

I left for overseas at a young age, during my primary school years, residing in Australia at the time. There, Zhajiangmian was nowhere to be found, so I eagerly awaited every vacation when I could return home to indulge. Surprisingly, I never got tired of it, even if I ate it for three consecutive days. As I grew older, I continued my studies in the UK during middle school and later in the USA during high school, encountering various cuisines. However, I always felt that Zhajiangmian held a special place in my heart.

In college, I had a Korean classmate, and we discovered that Korea had its own version of Zhajiangmian. We decided to try it at a local restaurant, but honestly, it was a bit too greasy for my taste, especially the sauce. From that point on, I preferred making it myself. I even invited my Korean friend to taste authentic Beijing Zhajiangmian, and they loved it.

To make it, you start with soybean paste and add sweet bean sauce. You sauté some minced pork in scallion oil, then combine the two. Finally, you garnish with chopped scallions and cucumber shreds. It's truly delicious!
My introduction to Western cuisine was initiated by my father. During my early years, my parents divorced, and I lived with my mother. I could only see my father every few weeks on certain weekends. He was not as thrifty as my mother and was quite lavish with himself, often taking me out to eat when we were together. It was with him that I had my first taste of steak at Outback Steakhouse and my first encounter with pizza at Pizza Hut.

In truth, my father didn't have a strong affection for me. As I grew older, the contact between us became increasingly scarce. A decade went by without seeing each other, and my memories of him started to fade. But occasionally, I'd recall those small, tender moments of fatherly love from my youth. It was he who taught me to appreciate a medium-rare steak and meticulously cut it into pieces for me. As I grew up, I continued to prefer my steaks medium-rare, and now, living overseas, I comfortably use cutlery in front of foreigners.

I'm grateful that I don't feel timid or awkward due to my lack of exposure to the world. It's in these moments that I can feel the fleeting presence of my father's love that helped me grow, even if just for a brief period.

Chinese people convey emotions through food. This sentiment is introspective, understated, and intimate. It touches the heart in the nuances, a rhetorical device in traditional Chinese literature – using objects to convey feelings. For the next step, I wish to gather more food stories and present the ultimate result as a menu. Meanwhile, I hope to discover something new through these stories. I still seeking.

2023/08/20 Next Intervention will be “Do You Have a Special Food Tied to Your Emotions?”

After a busy moving home time, finally, I can sit down and write a new post again. So in the past two weeks, I spent much time moving home. Besides, I read roughly two books called “The body is not an Apology” by New Yorker writer Sonya Renee Taylor and “i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki” by Korean writer Baek Sehee. They are two different books. For me, “The body is not an Apology” is like a big sister encouraging you don’t be ashamed of your body that doesn’t conform to society’s aesthetic standards. You are a member of the human community and have an equal right to love and be loved. However, “i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki” is more like a young girl describing the pain she suffered growing up, particularly the traditional East Asian family environment as the root cause of her depression and anxiety. As an Asia woman, I feel it relates to my growing-up experience.

Before reading those two books, I watched an academic documentary called “Sources of Cultural Differences between China and the West”, a lecture by Professor Wang Defeng, School of Philosophy at Fudan University, in 2014. (“中西方文化差异的渊源” 复旦大学哲学学院王德峰教授,2014). Like the lecture title, Professor Wang explained the essential differences between Chinese and Western cultures from a historical perspective. I made a diagram to show some key points he mentioned in the lecture.

Overview
The “learning from the West” part
The “What China is facing now” part
The “difference between Chinese and Western culture” part
The “Why we can’t be Westerners” part

I watched Professor Wang’s lecture because I made a questionnaire to search for knowledge of eating disorders in Chinese social groups. In the questionnaire, I used some interrogative questions to complete my research, but I still need to get satisfactory results from this questionnaire. For many people, “eating disorder” is an unfamiliar word, a direct translation from English, making people feel that this is a rigid questionnaire. So I decided to step back and look for the underlying logic of the differences between Chinese and Western cultures.

After watch finished the lecture, I thought maybe I should think of “eating disorders” as a phenomenon rather than a mental illness. I should be thinking about why people infuse their emotions into their food. I want to back to “FOOD” rather than seek the entire thing. So for my next intervention, I want to do a barter game where I start by inviting people to share their stories with me about their food and I’ll give back an illustration. At the end of the day, I want to bring these stories and illustrations together as a healing piece of work. So for my next intervention, I want to do a barter game where I start by inviting people to share their stories with me about their food and I’ll give back an illustration. At the end of the day, I want to bring these stories and illustrations together as a healing piece of work.

Back to the books -“The Body is not an Apology” and “i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki”. I feel the cultural difference between Asia and the Western world through reading. Compared with Westerners, Asian people are more subtle, and very few of us will say our love outright, and we prefer to use third-point-of-view stories to illustrate thoughts and love, which are more like fables. This is another reason I want to collect people’s food stories in my next intervention cause it seems more acceptable among Chinese society groups.

2023/08/06 Tutorial with Zuleika & Set up a Questionnaire

This week, I had a tutorial with Zuleika. In this tutorial, I figure out my further plan for the project. First, I describe the two interventions and references I’ve read since the independent study period started, which are <EAT FAT> and <The Eating Disorder Sourcebook>. Also, I mentioned I’m reading <The Art Therapies>.

Zuleika asked me: “What’s your question?” I type, ” How to design an art therapy for the Chinese eating disorders group from 16-30?” I choose this age group because, at this age, people can start to realise they got an eating disorder. Also, in China, several people up to 40 probably don’t know what eating disorders are. It comes from my experience and early interviews with the eating disorders group. Zuleika suggested I need more references to support this theory. And it seems I am more interested in “Why Chinese people got eating disorders” than “Art therapy of eating disorders.” I will figure it out.

Could you write down the project question 20 times?

  • How to create art therapies for Chinese eating disorder groups from 16-30?
  • How about the Chinese eating disorders group from 16-30?
  • Why do Chinese people have eating disorders?
  • What’s different between Chinese and Western eating disorders?
  • Does the traditional Chinese family culture cause Chinese eating disorders?
  • Does the beautification standards affect Chinese eating disorders?
  • Does the beautification standards affect Chinese female eating disorders?
  • Why Chinese female have eating disorders?
  • The female beautification practices are part of eating disorders or eating disorders are part of female beautification practices?
  • Which forms of family relationships are more likely to cause eating disorders?
  • Does traditional Chinese family authority create eating disorders?
  • What is the social significance of food anyway?
  • Does Paternity produce female beautification practices?
  • Why food has so many meaning?
  • Why can food represent human emotions?
  • What’s the healing power of food?

Zuleika recommends the term “Fatphobia” and the book “The Body is Not An Apology” by Sonya Renee Taylor.

The “Fatphobid” means:

The social stigma of obesity is broadly defined as bias or discriminatory behaviours targeted at overweight and obese individuals because of their weight and high body fat percentage. Such social stigmas can span one's entire life, as long as excess weight is present, starting from a young age and lasting into adulthood. Studies also indicate overweight and obese individuals experience higher levels of stigma than others.

In addition, they marry less often, experience fewer educational and career opportunities, and earn less than normal-weight individuals on average. Although public support regarding disability services, civil rights, and anti-workplace discrimination laws for obese individuals have gained support over the years, overweight and obese individuals still experience discrimination, which may have detrimental implications for physiological and psychological health. These issues are compounded by the significant negative physiological effects already associated with obesity, which some have proposed may be caused by stress from the social stigma of obesity rather than from obesity per se.

Anti-fat bias refers to prejudicial assumptions based on assessing a person as being overweight or obese. It is also known as "fat shaming" or "fatphobia". Anti-fat bias can be found in many facets of society, and fat activists commonly blame mass media and popular culture for the pervasiveness of this phenomenon.

Also, I created a questionnaire-“A survey on understanding of eating disorders by Chinese contemporary social groups“. In this questionnaire, I set up a split survey, targeting the eating disorder group in China and the people around them so that I can better understand the current situation.

 The questionnaire received 96 simple. Most participants were from the Southeast Coast in China. 50% were aware of eating disorders, 7% had suffered from or were experiencing an eating disorder, and 15.62% were unsure if they had an eating disorder. In the eating disorder group questionnaire, with a sample of 22, 59% were unwilling to tell others that they had an eating disorder, but 64% were ready to receive professional treatment.

In contrast, in the questionnaire for the non-eating disorder group, 79.73% did not know if a family member or friend had an eating disorder, and 13.51% were unsure if a family member or friend had an eating disorder. However, they would support their family members or friends to have professional psychotherapy and listen to them. This questionnaire demonstrates the potential for eating disorders to become more widespread in China. 

Facing the Eating disorder group.

Facing the people around the Eating disorder group.

The questionnaire shows that eating disorders are a social phenomenon in Chinese society. After thought, I found out my most interesting point is people’s knowledge and attitudes around the eating disorder group rather than eating disorders themselves. According to data, most people have a vague idea of this mental state but can’t fully understand it. The Chinese term “eating disorder” is a direct translation of the English term, an academic term of Western medical origin that is unfamiliar and does not bring emotional or cultural relevance to the Chinese people. At the same time, In my previous research, I was too obsessed with studying eating disorders, which also filled my psyche with pain and anguish. Therefore, after receiving the results of this survey, I wanted to learn more about people’s attitudes towards food. When people can’t understand why people with eating disorders make eating painful, I was more interested in understanding the multiplicity of emotions behind food.