“A Lot of Money to Seek Mother” (重金求母) is a performance art by Chinese artist Yaqi Zou (邹雅琦). She hired seven women as her mum for 21 days at ¥3000 (£325) per person. The series continues, with three mothers appearing so far.
I was very much touched by the second mother’s episode. In one scene, Yaqi takes off all her clothes in front of the mother, and then explains to the character of the “mother” how the “daughter”, as an individual, should deal with this close but fading relationship as she grows up. She was always complimented on her slim figure by people around her. Her clothes were always only extra small sizes. She always thought I should look like her. I always looked out of place against her, the main pitfall planted in my early childhood to trigger an eating disorder. I was always in love with her. But when I was a teenager, I also hated her with respect.
Scene from “A Lot of Money to Seek Mother”
By Yaqi Zou： "This should be the first time you've seen me as an adult woman. This is my front, my back, and my side profile. And then, my hair, soft and long. I also have a very beautiful face. But I believe my face is the result of combinations in this world, not entirely your creation. My shoulder width is about 39, my bust is 85, my hips are 97, and my head circumference is 57. These are my hands, my fingers, and my arms. I have removed almost all the hair from my body. This is my face; the only thing I've done is to get a 20U jaw angle, so I have a narrower jawline. Apart from that, I love my waist, the muscles under my fat, my hips, and my legs. I have always been told that my legs are thick since I was little, and I don't hide or care about being scrutinized about my body. I am satisfied with it, and I am satisfied with myself. But this is the first time I am showing you how I look like. You must feel very unfamiliar, and I'm sure it's different from what you imagined. You and I are undoubtedly two completely different individuals. We are entirely different. I don't know if you like me - my body and my thoughts. What did I look like when I was a child? It must be completely different from now, but I don't remember anymore, but you must remember. I am very, very good at makeup, and I started wearing makeup since junior high school. I only recently started enjoying sports. My body fat percentage is not too low; it's 24%, and my muscle percentage is 71%. This is my skin, my muscles, and my bones that make me up. My genes come from you, but I must look unexpected. My youth, my beauty, my muscles, they don't come entirely from you. You and I are both the creations of the creator and the mother of the earth; I'm just produced by using your body, not created by you. So I don't belong to you, and my youth is not exchanged for yours. I don't owe you. I heard that when I was in grandma's belly, I was already growing in your ovaries. A long, long time ago, we were both grandma's children. You and grandma are also the children of grandma's mother. Your past was me, and I will also become you. Does time take away or give? What I want to say is, when you see me as a mother, don't be afraid, and I won't feel guilty anymore. The body you see in front of you is not entirely your creation, and it doesn't belong to you either. The relationship between us doesn't seem so close; I haven't figured out these questions yet. But I know it's time to show you who I am. No matter what, you are beautiful to me now, and I hope you can recognize my beauty too. I hope you can be honest. You don't have to praise me, but you don't have to reject me either. This is how I look, and I didn't take it away from you. I haven't figured out many questions yet, I hate you mum, but I also love you."
邹雅琦： 这应该是你第一次，见到作为成年女性的我。这是我的正面，和我的背面，和我的侧面。然后，我的头发，柔软并且很长。我也有非常好看的脸。但是我认为我的脸是这个世界上排列组合而产生的，并非全的都是你的作品。 我的肩宽大概是39，我的胸围是85，臀围是97，头围是57.这是我的手，我的手指，我的手臂。我做了几乎全身的除毛。这是我的脸，我唯一在脸上动过的是，我有打20U的下颌缘，所以我有一个收窄的下颌角。除此之外，我很喜欢我的腰，我的脂肪地下的腹肌，我的臀我的腿。一直以来，从小到大都会被说我的腿很粗，我也毫不避讳，也毫不在乎被审视我的身体。我对它很满意，我对自己很满意。 但这是我第一次在你面前给你看我的样子，你一定感到很陌生吧，一定和你想象中有区别吧。我和你肯定是完全不同的两个个体，我们完全不一样，我不知道你是否喜欢我- 我的身体和我的思想。 我小时候是什么样子的呢？和现在也完全不一样吧，我也不记得了，但是你一定记得吧。我非常非常擅长化妆，然后从初中的时候就开始化妆了。我最近才开始享受运动，我的体脂率稍微不算太低，呃，是24%，肌肉率是71%。这是我的皮肤，我的肌肉，我的骨骼组成了我。我的基因来源于你，但是一定是你出乎意料的样子。我的青春我的美我的肌肉，他们并不完全来自于你，你和我都是造主以及大地之母的作品，只是借你的身体产生了我，并非是你创作的。所以我不属于你，我的青春也不属于你，我的青春也并不是用你的青春换来的。我并不欠你。我听说在外婆肚子里的时候，我就已经在你的卵巢里长好了。很早很早之前，我们都是外婆的孩子。你和外婆又是外婆母亲的孩子。 你的曾经是我，我也将成为你。岁月到底是夺走还是给予呢？ 我想说的就是，当妈妈你看到我的时候，你不要害怕，我也不会再觉得愧疚。你现在目之所及我的身体，也不完全是你的作品，也不属于你。我们之间的关系，似乎也没有那么紧密，这些问题我还没想清楚。但是我知道是时候向你展示我。 不管怎样现在你对我来说也很美丽，希望你也可以认可我的美，希望你能坦诚地。你可以不赞美我，但是你也可以不接受。 这就是我的样子，也不是从你那里拿走的。很多问题我也没想清楚，我恨你妈妈，但是我也爱你。