Author: Shuang Zheng

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2023/08/27 The 3rd Intervention-“A Table of Modern Chinese Elegance”.

China’s culinary civilisation mirrors Chinese culture, embodying the Chinese people’s values, attitudes towards life, and historical heritage. Whether the food on the dining table or the eating habits, they all demonstrate China’s unique cultural traits. I want to discuss something other than Chinese eating disorders in a Western psychological context.

On 21st August, I started my third project intervention-“A Table of Modern Chinese Elegance.” In this intervention, I want to go through the food stories of China’s Z era, I hope to reflect on the changes in Chinese food culture in the new era, as well as the family relationships and social phenomena behind the changes. So, I posted the poster on Chinese social media. Invite people to tell them stories with food. So far, I have received 15 stories and drawn 7 illustrations.

“An electronic barter, I exchange an illustration for your most impressive food story.”

What’s the story?

This is the last can of canned peaches my grandfather opened for me after his cancer advanced. At that time, he still looked fine physically, but I wasn't strong enough and couldn't open the can myself. My grandmother suggested that my grandfather help me, and unexpectedly, he managed to twist it open. That was something we didn't anticipate. After that, about half a year passed, and he had only enough strength left to walk around a little. Then, in November of last year, he passed away.

Later, I stopped choosing to eat canned peaches. The taste of the can, actually not very delicious with a strong artificial flavour, lingers in my memory, but because my grandfather opened it, I finished it. Since then, I particularly avoid seeing things packaged in such old-style cans because it reminds me of when my grandfather opened the can for me.
When I was a child, I lived with my grandmother, and she loved to fry potato slices for me. It was really simple, just potatoes with salt, but it tasted amazing. Now that I've grown up and developed my own sense of independence, I realize that parents often unconsciously want to control my thoughts. My thoughts have diverged from my grandmother's, but when I think of "potato slices," I can still feel her love for me. I hope that one day we can find a balance, loving each other while remaining independent individuals. I love her, but I have to love myself first.
When I was very young, I lived with my grandparents in a courtyard. During every Chinese New Year, relatives would bring back gifts, including big buckets of cola and Sprite. There would always be one or two bottles left after the gatherings, and it was something new and exciting back then. However, whenever I wanted to drink them at night, they always seemed to disappear. Later, I found out that the family next door, my uncle's family, took them. They had a cousin. I asked my grandmother if she could save a bottle for me after the gatherings, as I really liked them. On another occasion, I was quite worried until I saw a bottle of Sprite placed in the storage room, then I could finally go to bed peacefully.

Later, I overheard conversations among adults. I knew it was my aunt and grandmother talking. My grandmother even gave the Sprite to my aunt when she came to take some leftover snacks for her cousin.

Many similar incidents followed, and I slowly realized that I was the one without parents around to protect me. This made me become someone who lacked a sense of security and thought a lot for myself. This has led to my parents often saying that I'm not close to them. I don't blame my parents, nor do I blame my grandmother. But every time my parents say something like that, I feel a bit down. Now, I can buy plenty of cola and Sprite, but I still can't seem to get the understanding I need.
I came to the UK for my undergraduate studies in 2020. It's been three years, and I haven't been home once due to the pandemic and expensive flight prices. But honestly, I think it's also because deep down, I don't really want to go back. I want to escape from my original family. Yesterday, when I called my parents and asked about my grandparents' recent situation, I found out that my grandfather passed away two years ago. He passed away shortly after I left for abroad. I wasn't as close to my grandparents as I was to my grandfather. My grandmother doesn't use WeChat, so I only greet her on special occasions after I left. I didn't teach my grandparents how to use WeChat... My grandparents have always been good to me. They might not express themselves much, but I can feel their silent care.

My grandfather was particularly proud of me. He enjoyed fishing, and his skin was tanned. He lived on a small bed in my uncle's semi-basement. Whenever I went to my uncle's house for a meal and visited my grandfather, he would wipe the edge of his bed and ask me to sit there because he thought it was more comfortable. Then he would bring a small fishing stool and sit beside me. Before I went abroad, we had a meal together. I didn't expect that to be the last time I saw my grandfather. My mom told me he's in a place without pain now. During his illness, my mom told him I couldn't come back from abroad, and he understood. Not seeing my grandfather for the last time is my regret. I know what the adults were thinking, but I'm still sad. Why couldn't they call me for a video chat so I could see my grandfather one last time?

After I hung up with my mom, besides feeling sad, I suddenly felt hungry. I always thought people lose their appetite when sad, but I really wanted to eat something. There was food on the table, so I chose chocolate. I ate one after another until I finished the whole box. After eating the chocolate, my mood did improve, and I continued to write my paper and carry on with my life. I didn't think about my grandfather's matter until the evening. But this morning, I suddenly understood the adults' thoughts. It's not that they don't care, but they dare not think about it because life has to go on... Every time my mom, who never cries when talking about my grandfather, sheds tears in front of me, I dare not bring it up again.

The script link: http://kck.st/448WFTn

I created a script called "Chopped".The heroine is a Chinese chef in the US called Mei.
"Chopped" is a story about food, our relationship with food, and inherently, our culture and our identity.
The story comes from a personal place.
When I first arrived in the United States, after weeks of consuming burgers and fries, all I craved was a simple bowl of rice. As time passed and I found myself further away from home,
I clung to anything that reminded me of my roots—a feeling,
a flavor.
I learned how to cook here.
However, as I started sharing my cooking with others and taking friends to Chinese restaurants, I discovered that my palate was different.
Growing up, I was accustomed to spices, intestines, frogs— delicacies not easily found here.
My unique palette became a source of intrigue and even horror for my friends.
Despite the fact that we spend so much time eating, with three meals a day, I struggled to find someone who truly understood me.
Chopped explores a fascinating fantasy— what would a woman do when consumed by anger?
I find myself admiring Mei's spirit.
She is strong, talented, and completely devoted to her craft.
As a remarkable artist, Mei chooses to take an extreme stand against her husband, unleashing her passion and determination.
I dedicate this piece to myself and everyone who loves food but has to eat alone.
It was during Qingming Festival when my family and I went back to our hometown to sweep the graves. Apart from some distant and elderly relatives who lived near the ancestral hall and ancestral house, there weren't many people there. Most had moved to the city and were engaged in farming for their livelihoods. I don't remember my exact age, but I was around twelve or thirteen years old then. Since I had always lived in the city, I was curious about rural life.

At that time, I was playing and frolicking with my cousin in a small bamboo grove. Accidentally, I hit her head with a piece of bamboo. She cried for a long time. Later, my aunt brought us a plate of scrambled eggs to taste. The scrambled eggs looked like they had a lot of egg whites, but I really liked scrambled eggs, so I happily ate them. After the meal, my aunt told us that the white part was silkworm pupa. I couldn't describe it; you couldn't even tell it was there. I guess it was too small, white and egg-like. Looking back now, it seems a bit horrifying, but the taste really wasn't much different from scrambled eggs.
I'm not a big fan of eating bread, but when it's stuffed with meat and veggies and turns into a hamburger, I absolutely love it. My family doesn't mind me having fast food. When I was very young, my parents would accompany me to buy hamburgers. The three of us would walk hand in hand, buying hamburgers before dinner, laughing all the way home. Once home, each of us would have a hamburger and a cola, enjoying TV variety shows. These are the most cherished memories of my childhood.

As I grew older, with increasing academic pressure, I didn't follow the trend of going to the library to study every day like other classmates. Instead, I enjoyed going to the McDonald's downstairs, buying a hamburger, sitting by the window, eating while studying for a while, and occasionally looking outside when feeling tired. One time, while memorizing vocabulary, a sudden torrential rainstorm started outside. I was chewing on a hamburger and watching people on the street running for cover. In that moment, I felt like the safest and happiest person in the world.

Growing up, before I went abroad for my graduate studies, my mom knew I would miss the McDonald's in my home country. So, in the two weeks before my departure, she was constantly grabbing McDonald's discount coupons from TikTok. Sometimes she would find a good deal like a 99 yuan combo, and she would message my dad, telling him the whole family would have McDonald's that night. My dad would reply, "I'll be home early today."

After going abroad, I would often reward myself with a delicious hamburger after finishing my assignments or exams, to treat my overworked brain. Then, about half a year ago, I met my current boyfriend for the first time. We spontaneously decided to meet up and attend a concert. We couldn't find a suitable restaurant, so we ended up having hamburgers at a fast-food joint near the concert hall. While eating, some sauce accidentally dripped from my burger, and my boyfriend helped me find tissues. This spontaneous choice made our first meeting much more relaxed, and our conversation became more joyful.

Although a hamburger isn't anything extravagant, it has played a significant role in my current life. It's a simple delight that makes me feel like a kid every time I eat it. It might sound like a simple account, but I truly adore hamburgers!
I used to frequently enjoy Zhajiangmian (fried sauce noodles) in Beijing. One of my earliest memories of this dish is the one my grandma used to make for me in a small iron bowl, filled to the brim. As a child, I could easily devour two big bowls of it, and when I was full, I'd sometimes playfully tip the bowl over, spilling the noodles onto the ground. Unfortunately, my grandma passed away early, and my mom took over the task of making this delectable dish. Her version was equally delicious, and it became a weekly staple.

I left for overseas at a young age, during my primary school years, residing in Australia at the time. There, Zhajiangmian was nowhere to be found, so I eagerly awaited every vacation when I could return home to indulge. Surprisingly, I never got tired of it, even if I ate it for three consecutive days. As I grew older, I continued my studies in the UK during middle school and later in the USA during high school, encountering various cuisines. However, I always felt that Zhajiangmian held a special place in my heart.

In college, I had a Korean classmate, and we discovered that Korea had its own version of Zhajiangmian. We decided to try it at a local restaurant, but honestly, it was a bit too greasy for my taste, especially the sauce. From that point on, I preferred making it myself. I even invited my Korean friend to taste authentic Beijing Zhajiangmian, and they loved it.

To make it, you start with soybean paste and add sweet bean sauce. You sauté some minced pork in scallion oil, then combine the two. Finally, you garnish with chopped scallions and cucumber shreds. It's truly delicious!
My introduction to Western cuisine was initiated by my father. During my early years, my parents divorced, and I lived with my mother. I could only see my father every few weeks on certain weekends. He was not as thrifty as my mother and was quite lavish with himself, often taking me out to eat when we were together. It was with him that I had my first taste of steak at Outback Steakhouse and my first encounter with pizza at Pizza Hut.

In truth, my father didn't have a strong affection for me. As I grew older, the contact between us became increasingly scarce. A decade went by without seeing each other, and my memories of him started to fade. But occasionally, I'd recall those small, tender moments of fatherly love from my youth. It was he who taught me to appreciate a medium-rare steak and meticulously cut it into pieces for me. As I grew up, I continued to prefer my steaks medium-rare, and now, living overseas, I comfortably use cutlery in front of foreigners.

I'm grateful that I don't feel timid or awkward due to my lack of exposure to the world. It's in these moments that I can feel the fleeting presence of my father's love that helped me grow, even if just for a brief period.

Chinese people convey emotions through food. This sentiment is introspective, understated, and intimate. It touches the heart in the nuances, a rhetorical device in traditional Chinese literature – using objects to convey feelings. For the next step, I wish to gather more food stories and present the ultimate result as a menu. Meanwhile, I hope to discover something new through these stories. I still seeking.

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2023/08/20 Next Intervention will be “Do You Have a Special Food Tied to Your Emotions?”

After a busy moving home time, finally, I can sit down and write a new post again. So in the past two weeks, I spent much time moving home. Besides, I read roughly two books called “The body is not an Apology” by New Yorker writer Sonya Renee Taylor and “i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki” by Korean writer Baek Sehee. They are two different books. For me, “The body is not an Apology” is like a big sister encouraging you don’t be ashamed of your body that doesn’t conform to society’s aesthetic standards. You are a member of the human community and have an equal right to love and be loved. However, “i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki” is more like a young girl describing the pain she suffered growing up, particularly the traditional East Asian family environment as the root cause of her depression and anxiety. As an Asia woman, I feel it relates to my growing-up experience.

Before reading those two books, I watched an academic documentary called “Sources of Cultural Differences between China and the West”, a lecture by Professor Wang Defeng, School of Philosophy at Fudan University, in 2014. (“中西方文化差异的渊源” 复旦大学哲学学院王德峰教授，2014). Like the lecture title, Professor Wang explained the essential differences between Chinese and Western cultures from a historical perspective. I made a diagram to show some key points he mentioned in the lecture.

Overview
The “learning from the West” part
The “What China is facing now” part
The “difference between Chinese and Western culture” part
The “Why we can’t be Westerners” part

I watched Professor Wang’s lecture because I made a questionnaire to search for knowledge of eating disorders in Chinese social groups. In the questionnaire, I used some interrogative questions to complete my research, but I still need to get satisfactory results from this questionnaire. For many people, “eating disorder” is an unfamiliar word, a direct translation from English, making people feel that this is a rigid questionnaire. So I decided to step back and look for the underlying logic of the differences between Chinese and Western cultures.

After watch finished the lecture, I thought maybe I should think of “eating disorders” as a phenomenon rather than a mental illness. I should be thinking about why people infuse their emotions into their food. I want to back to “FOOD” rather than seek the entire thing. So for my next intervention, I want to do a barter game where I start by inviting people to share their stories with me about their food and I’ll give back an illustration. At the end of the day, I want to bring these stories and illustrations together as a healing piece of work. So for my next intervention, I want to do a barter game where I start by inviting people to share their stories with me about their food and I’ll give back an illustration. At the end of the day, I want to bring these stories and illustrations together as a healing piece of work.

Back to the books -“The Body is not an Apology” and “i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki”. I feel the cultural difference between Asia and the Western world through reading. Compared with Westerners, Asian people are more subtle, and very few of us will say our love outright, and we prefer to use third-point-of-view stories to illustrate thoughts and love, which are more like fables. This is another reason I want to collect people’s food stories in my next intervention cause it seems more acceptable among Chinese society groups.

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2023/08/06 Tutorial with Zuleika & Set up a Questionnaire

This week, I had a tutorial with Zuleika. In this tutorial, I figure out my further plan for the project. First, I describe the two interventions and references I’ve read since the independent study period started, which are <EAT FAT> and <The Eating Disorder Sourcebook>. Also, I mentioned I’m reading <The Art Therapies>.

Zuleika asked me: “What’s your question?” I type, ” How to design an art therapy for the Chinese eating disorders group from 16-30?” I choose this age group because, at this age, people can start to realise they got an eating disorder. Also, in China, several people up to 40 probably don’t know what eating disorders are. It comes from my experience and early interviews with the eating disorders group. Zuleika suggested I need more references to support this theory. And it seems I am more interested in “Why Chinese people got eating disorders” than “Art therapy of eating disorders.” I will figure it out.

Could you write down the project question 20 times?

  • How to create art therapies for Chinese eating disorder groups from 16-30?
  • How about the Chinese eating disorders group from 16-30?
  • Why do Chinese people have eating disorders?
  • What’s different between Chinese and Western eating disorders?
  • Does the traditional Chinese family culture cause Chinese eating disorders?
  • Does the beautification standards affect Chinese eating disorders?
  • Does the beautification standards affect Chinese female eating disorders?
  • Why Chinese female have eating disorders?
  • The female beautification practices are part of eating disorders or eating disorders are part of female beautification practices?
  • Which forms of family relationships are more likely to cause eating disorders?
  • Does traditional Chinese family authority create eating disorders?
  • What is the social significance of food anyway?
  • Does Paternity produce female beautification practices?
  • Why food has so many meaning?
  • Why can food represent human emotions?
  • What’s the healing power of food?
  • …

Zuleika recommends the term “Fatphobia” and the book “The Body is Not An Apology” by Sonya Renee Taylor.

The “Fatphobid” means:

The social stigma of obesity is broadly defined as bias or discriminatory behaviours targeted at overweight and obese individuals because of their weight and high body fat percentage. Such social stigmas can span one's entire life, as long as excess weight is present, starting from a young age and lasting into adulthood. Studies also indicate overweight and obese individuals experience higher levels of stigma than others.

In addition, they marry less often, experience fewer educational and career opportunities, and earn less than normal-weight individuals on average. Although public support regarding disability services, civil rights, and anti-workplace discrimination laws for obese individuals have gained support over the years, overweight and obese individuals still experience discrimination, which may have detrimental implications for physiological and psychological health. These issues are compounded by the significant negative physiological effects already associated with obesity, which some have proposed may be caused by stress from the social stigma of obesity rather than from obesity per se.

Anti-fat bias refers to prejudicial assumptions based on assessing a person as being overweight or obese. It is also known as "fat shaming" or "fatphobia". Anti-fat bias can be found in many facets of society, and fat activists commonly blame mass media and popular culture for the pervasiveness of this phenomenon.

Also, I created a questionnaire-“A survey on understanding of eating disorders by Chinese contemporary social groups“. In this questionnaire, I set up a split survey, targeting the eating disorder group in China and the people around them so that I can better understand the current situation.

 The questionnaire received 96 simple. Most participants were from the Southeast Coast in China. 50% were aware of eating disorders, 7% had suffered from or were experiencing an eating disorder, and 15.62% were unsure if they had an eating disorder. In the eating disorder group questionnaire, with a sample of 22, 59% were unwilling to tell others that they had an eating disorder, but 64% were ready to receive professional treatment.

In contrast, in the questionnaire for the non-eating disorder group, 79.73% did not know if a family member or friend had an eating disorder, and 13.51% were unsure if a family member or friend had an eating disorder. However, they would support their family members or friends to have professional psychotherapy and listen to them. This questionnaire demonstrates the potential for eating disorders to become more widespread in China. 

Facing the Eating disorder group.

Facing the people around the Eating disorder group.

The questionnaire shows that eating disorders are a social phenomenon in Chinese society. After thought, I found out my most interesting point is people’s knowledge and attitudes around the eating disorder group rather than eating disorders themselves. According to data, most people have a vague idea of this mental state but can’t fully understand it. The Chinese term “eating disorder” is a direct translation of the English term, an academic term of Western medical origin that is unfamiliar and does not bring emotional or cultural relevance to the Chinese people. At the same time, In my previous research, I was too obsessed with studying eating disorders, which also filled my psyche with pain and anguish. Therefore, after receiving the results of this survey, I wanted to learn more about people’s attitudes towards food. When people can’t understand why people with eating disorders make eating painful, I was more interested in understanding the multiplicity of emotions behind food.

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2023/07/31 Yaqi Zou’s Performance Art-A Lot of Money to Seek Mother

“A Lot of Money to Seek Mother” (重金求母) is a performance art by Chinese artist Yaqi Zou (邹雅琦). She hired seven women as her mum for 21 days at ¥3000 (£325) per person. The series continues, with three mothers appearing so far.

I was very much touched by the second mother’s episode. In one scene, Yaqi takes off all her clothes in front of the mother, and then explains to the character of the “mother” how the “daughter”, as an individual, should deal with this close but fading relationship as she grows up. She was always complimented on her slim figure by people around her. Her clothes were always only extra small sizes. She always thought I should look like her. I always looked out of place against her, the main pitfall planted in my early childhood to trigger an eating disorder. I was always in love with her. But when I was a teenager, I also hated her with respect.

Scene from “A Lot of Money to Seek Mother”

“My arm”
“We are entirely different.”
By Yaqi Zou：

"This should be the first time you've seen me as an adult woman. This is my front, my back, and my side profile. And then, my hair, soft and long. I also have a very beautiful face. But I believe my face is the result of combinations in this world, not entirely your creation.

My shoulder width is about 39, my bust is 85, my hips are 97, and my head circumference is 57. These are my hands, my fingers, and my arms. I have removed almost all the hair from my body. This is my face; the only thing I've done is to get a 20U jaw angle, so I have a narrower jawline. Apart from that, I love my waist, the muscles under my fat, my hips, and my legs. I have always been told that my legs are thick since I was little, and I don't hide or care about being scrutinized about my body. I am satisfied with it, and I am satisfied with myself.

But this is the first time I am showing you how I look like. You must feel very unfamiliar, and I'm sure it's different from what you imagined. You and I are undoubtedly two completely different individuals. We are entirely different. I don't know if you like me - my body and my thoughts.

What did I look like when I was a child? It must be completely different from now, but I don't remember anymore, but you must remember. I am very, very good at makeup, and I started wearing makeup since junior high school. I only recently started enjoying sports. My body fat percentage is not too low; it's 24%, and my muscle percentage is 71%. This is my skin, my muscles, and my bones that make me up. My genes come from you, but I must look unexpected. My youth, my beauty, my muscles, they don't come entirely from you. You and I are both the creations of the creator and the mother of the earth; I'm just produced by using your body, not created by you. So I don't belong to you, and my youth is not exchanged for yours. I don't owe you. I heard that when I was in grandma's belly, I was already growing in your ovaries. A long, long time ago, we were both grandma's children. You and grandma are also the children of grandma's mother.

Your past was me, and I will also become you. Does time take away or give?

What I want to say is, when you see me as a mother, don't be afraid, and I won't feel guilty anymore. The body you see in front of you is not entirely your creation, and it doesn't belong to you either. The relationship between us doesn't seem so close; I haven't figured out these questions yet. But I know it's time to show you who I am.

No matter what, you are beautiful to me now, and I hope you can recognize my beauty too. I hope you can be honest. You don't have to praise me, but you don't have to reject me either.

This is how I look, and I didn't take it away from you. I haven't figured out many questions yet, I hate you mum, but I also love you."
邹雅琦：

这应该是你第一次，见到作为成年女性的我。这是我的正面，和我的背面，和我的侧面。然后，我的头发，柔软并且很长。我也有非常好看的脸。但是我认为我的脸是这个世界上排列组合而产生的，并非全的都是你的作品。

我的肩宽大概是39，我的胸围是85，臀围是97，头围是57.这是我的手，我的手指，我的手臂。我做了几乎全身的除毛。这是我的脸，我唯一在脸上动过的是，我有打20U的下颌缘，所以我有一个收窄的下颌角。除此之外，我很喜欢我的腰，我的脂肪地下的腹肌，我的臀我的腿。一直以来，从小到大都会被说我的腿很粗，我也毫不避讳，也毫不在乎被审视我的身体。我对它很满意，我对自己很满意。

但这是我第一次在你面前给你看我的样子，你一定感到很陌生吧，一定和你想象中有区别吧。我和你肯定是完全不同的两个个体，我们完全不一样，我不知道你是否喜欢我- 我的身体和我的思想。

我小时候是什么样子的呢？和现在也完全不一样吧，我也不记得了，但是你一定记得吧。我非常非常擅长化妆，然后从初中的时候就开始化妆了。我最近才开始享受运动，我的体脂率稍微不算太低，呃，是24%，肌肉率是71%。这是我的皮肤，我的肌肉，我的骨骼组成了我。我的基因来源于你，但是一定是你出乎意料的样子。我的青春我的美我的肌肉，他们并不完全来自于你，你和我都是造主以及大地之母的作品，只是借你的身体产生了我，并非是你创作的。所以我不属于你，我的青春也不属于你，我的青春也并不是用你的青春换来的。我并不欠你。我听说在外婆肚子里的时候，我就已经在你的卵巢里长好了。很早很早之前，我们都是外婆的孩子。你和外婆又是外婆母亲的孩子。

你的曾经是我，我也将成为你。岁月到底是夺走还是给予呢？

我想说的就是，当妈妈你看到我的时候，你不要害怕，我也不会再觉得愧疚。你现在目之所及我的身体，也不完全是你的作品，也不属于你。我们之间的关系，似乎也没有那么紧密，这些问题我还没想清楚。但是我知道是时候向你展示我。

不管怎样现在你对我来说也很美丽，希望你也可以认可我的美，希望你能坦诚地。你可以不赞美我，但是你也可以不接受。

这就是我的样子，也不是从你那里拿走的。很多问题我也没想清楚，我恨你妈妈，但是我也爱你。
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2023/07/29 Reference-The Eating Disorder Sourcebook

I mainly read “The Eating Disorder Sourcebook” (1996) by Carolyn Costin for the last two weeks. In this book, Carolyn describes the history of eating disorders, the types of eating disorders, and the internal and external factors that cause them. Meanwhile, Carolyn also lists the further treatments for eating disorders, which include professional treatment and family treatment, which includes treatment dialogue between herself and the patient.

In addition, Carolyn suffered eating disorder for a long time. So she clearly understands the feeling of being an eating disorder. Through reading, I can feel her. Her writing, full of empathy, also keeps a professional attitude. So I will document her valuable thoughts in this post.

The content with the following aspects discusses what affects eating disorders.

  • Sociocultural: A look at the cultural preference for thinness, and the current epidemic of body dissatisfaction and dieting, with an emphasis not only on weight loss but also on the ability to control one’s body as a means of gaining approval, acceptance, and self-esteem.
  • Psychological: The exploration of underlying psychological problems, developmental deficits, and traumatic experiences such as sexual abuse, which contribute to the development of disordered eating or exercise behaviors as coping mechanisms or adaptive functions.
  • Biological: A review of the current information available on whether or not there is a genetic predisposition or biological status that is at least partly responsible for the development of an eating or activity disorder.

Chapter 4: Sociocultural Influences on Eating, Weight, and Shape

In today’s culture, thinness represents not only attractiveness but also self-sacrifice, virtue, success, and control. The pervasive attitude seems to be that the more fat one has on his or her body, the more unattractive, self-indulgent, lazy, and out of control one is.

With the slogan, “Just the Right Shape”, one wonders what is being sold, the body or the outfit? Media advertisements like these both reflect and shape our perceptions and standard of beauty.

It may be that the media pressure to diet is a major influence on the occurrence of eating disorders in otherwise vulnerable women and men.” Since the culturally prescribed body weight is so unrealistically low and since mountains of evidence show that diets don’t work (approximately 98 percent of those who lose weight gain it back), it follows that some individuals will resort to extreme measures such as starving or purging in order to deal with their dissatisfaction over their figures or sizes, striving to obtain “Just the Right Shape.”

Most ads and diet products are directed toward females, but males are no longer spared. Males are increasingly portrayed as ora-mental objects and targeted for the purchase of beauty and weight loss products, as women have been since advertising began. Is it a coincidence that the incidence of males with eating disorders is also increasing?) Still, eating disorders remain a predominantly female problem, with females accounting for approximately 90 to 95 percent of all known cases. In regard to this gender distribution, it may seem obvious, but cannot be minimized, that historically men are judged more for what they do and women for how they look. Of the many Life magazine covers that have featured women over the last fifty years, only nineteen featured women who were not actresses or models- that is, women who were not on the cover because of their beauty (Wolf 1991). Women have always been taught that their value is associated with their appearance and their bodies.

It is our society, not any particular woman’s psyche, which has brought about the undue influence that weight and shape play on self-esteem.

And now our wonderful technology can remove fat from our thighs and add it to our breasts. Plastic surgery for cosmetic reasons is being performed on children as young as twelve. It is interesting to note that although eating disorders are increasingly appearing in all cultures around the world, Westernized women seem to be at greater risk for developing them, and the degree of Westernization seems to increase the risk (Dolan 1991). Evidence suggests that anorexia and bulimia nervosa, although present, are uncommon outside the Western world and in less affluent Western countries. Furthermore, when immigrants move from less industrialized countries to more industrialized countries they are more likely to develop eating disorders.

My Though:
With China's rapid economic development and increasing industrialisation, eating disorders are now becoming a common phenomenon among the Chinese population (mainly women), but due to the lack of widespread education in psychology and nutrition, as well as the lack of professional knowledge, not many people are aware of their eating disorders, which makes them ashamed of their behaviour and unable to seek help from the outside world in a timely manner. East Asian women are more introverted than their Western counterparts, and have been brought up with the social precept that they should "not express your feelings easily, and keep silent most of the time".

Women have gone through fundamental changes in their place in society, both economically and politically, and thinness has come to symbolise control, wealth, independence, and freedom. Whereas at one time, it was virtuous to abstain from sex, it has now become virtuous to abstain from food. Even thinness is no longer enough. The contemporary feminine ideal includes being thin and physically fit.

Eating disorders need to be understood within the context of the current culture, where the idea that thinness is attractive and desirable for females is so commonly accepted that it is rarely even questioned.

Starving, stuffing, and purging women are trying desperately to gain acceptance, approval, control, and love through external validation of their bodies. Eating disorders are not about food or weight but a disordered “sense of self” looking for approval and finding it, however temporarily, in the pursuit of thinness or the comfort of food.

These women are all expressing a deeper struggle than thin versus fat. In essence, they are describing a struggle for power, success, and control. The issue becomes mind over matter. We look up to people who can lose weight and keep it off even if they are unhealthy and unhappy. The ultimate power felt by anorexics is that they do without, punish their bodies, and make them obey. The increased incidence of eating disorders in certain subgroups of our population that stress these ideals along with thinness, such as ballerinas, models, gymnasts, and jockeys, lends even further credence to the cultural factor in the causes of eating disorders.

Eating disorders are highly complex and are the manifestation not only of our culture but also of various underlying struggles in the core of the personality and even the biochemistry of each individual afflicted.

Chapter 5: Eating Disorder Behaviors Are Adaptive Function

A struggling will, an insecure feeling, and despair may manifest themselves in problems with the care and feeding of the body but are fundamentally a problem with the care and feeding of the soul. In her aptly titled book The Obsession, Kim Chernin has wit ten, The body holds meaning . .. when we probe beneath the surface of our obsession with weight, we will find that a woman obsessed with her body is also obsessed with the limitations of her emotional life. Through her concern with her body, she is expressing serious concern about the state of her soul.”
What are the emotional limitations commonly seen in individuals with eating disorders? What is the state of their souls?

Common State of Being for The Eating Disordered Individual:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Diminished self-worth
  • Belief in the thinness myth
  • Need for distraction
  • Dichotomous (black or white) thinking
  • Feeling of emptiness
  • Quest for perfection
  • Desire to be special/unique
  • Need to be in control
  • Need for power
  • Desire ffor respect and admiration
  • Diffuculty expressing feeling
  • Need for escape or a safe place to go
  • Lack of coping skills
  • Lace of trust in self and others
  • Terrified of not measuring up

Eating disorder symptoms serve some purpose that goes beyond weight loss, food as comfort, or an addiction, and beyond a need to be special or in control. Eating disorder symptoms can be seen as behavioural manifestations of a disordered self, and the purpose or meaning of the behavioural symptoms can be discovered through understanding and working with this disordered self.

The development of an eating disorder can begin early in life when childhood needs and mental states are not properly responded to by caregivers and thus get disowned, repressed, and shunted off into a separate part of a person’s psyche. The child develops deficits in his or her capacities for self-cohesion and self-esteem regulation.
At some point in time, the individual learns to create a system whereby disordered eating patterns, rather than people, are used to meet needs because previous attempts with caregivers have brought about disappointment, frustration, or even abuse.

The development of an eating disorder can begin early in life when childhood needs and mental states are not properly responded to by caregivers and thus get disowned, repressed, and shunted off into a separate part of a person’s psyche. The child develops deficits in his or her capacities for self-cohesion and self-esteem regulation. At some point in time, the individual learns to create a system whereby disordered eating patterns, rather than people, are used to meet needs because previous attempts with caregivers have brought about disappointment, frustration, or even abuse.

  • a distorted self-image (I am selfish, bad, stupid)
  • no self-image ( I don’t deserve to be heard or seen, I don’t exist)

Adaptive Function of Eating Disorders

  • Comfort, soothing, nurturance
  • Numbing, sedation, distraction
  • Attention, cry for help
  • Discharge tension, anger, rebellion
  • Predictability, structure, identity
  • Self-punishment or punishment of “the body”
  • Cleanse or purify self
  • Create small or large body for protection/safety
  • Avoidance of intimacy
  • Symptoms prove “I am bad” instead of blaming others (for example, abusers)

Sexual Abuse

Although researchers have used varying definitions of sexual abuse and methodologies in their studies, the above figures show that sexual trauma or abuse in childhood is a risk factor for developing eating disorders. Furthermore, clinicians nationwide have experienced countless women who describe and interpret their eating disorders as connected to early sexual abuse. Anorexics have described starvation and weight loss as trying to avoid sexual alit and thus evade or escape sexual drive, feelings, or potential perpetrators. Bulimics have described their symptoms as a way of purging the perpetrator, raging at the violator or oneself, and getting rid of the filth or dirtiness inside of them. Binge eaters have suggested that overeating numbs their feelings, distracts them from other bodily sensations, and results in weight gain that “armours” them and keeps them unattractive to potential sexual partners or perpetrators.

Chapter 7: Assessing The Sotuation

Checklist of Observable and Nonobervable Sighs of an Eating Disorder

Chapter 8 :Guidelines for Significant Others

Friends and Family members are often the forgotten victim of eating disorders.

  • Pick a time and place where there will be no interruptions and no need to hurry
  • Be empathetic and Understanding
  • Express your concern about what you have observed and speak from your own experience
  • Provide information about resources for treatment
  • Do not argue oof get into a power struggle
  • Accept your limitaions

Recovery from anorexia and bulimia takes approximately four-and-a-half to six-and-a-half years.

Chapter 9: Treatment Philosophy and Approaches

Three main philosophical approaches to the treatment of eating disorders.

  • Psychodynamic
  • Cognitive behavioural
  • Disease/ addiction
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2023/07/14 Offical Website for expert & Chinese Art Therapy Society

Consider the project facing Chinese experts. I spent two weeks building a new website in Chinese and English. So external experts could understand my project.

The link is as follows.

Research Project

In this website, I use Chinese and English to introduce my projecct and twice intervention I’ve done.

Meanwhile, I joined a Chinese art therapy society. Initially, I was attracted by the society’s concept. The club has gathered a wide range of talents who are good at painting, dance, theatre and musical instruments to join, divided into different groups by different skills, and worked together to develop art healing courses, with plans to collaborate with hospitals, schools and other organisations, followed by charity painting exhibitions, concerts and theatre festivals. The members are all young people between 25 and 30 years old. But I soon realised that the group was disorganised, everyone was profit-oriented, there was no leader to lead the group to focus on the project, and everyone wanted to sit back and enjoy the benefits. This made me feel uncomfortable. At the same time, the founder of this organisation only wanted to sell the art healing program at a high price for profit. So I quit the organisation.

At the same time, I’m trying to find art healing experts through society, and unfortunately, there are no experts here who specialise in art healing. When looking for professional counsellors, they basically charge a high fee for counselling.

In the chat with Founder, in general, from her tone of voice, she just wants to sell the PROGRAM at a high price.

However, I met Kinki, an expressive arts practitioner in Macau. She is interested in my project. Encouraged my interventions, though she also suggested that art therapy, as a means of psychological rescue, requires the presence of a professional. 

Chat with Kinki

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2023/06/23 Reference- “EAT FAT”

I spend two weeks finishing reading “Eat Fat”, a book written by Richard Klein. Overall, Klein explores the cultural and historical perspectives surrounding fat consumption in our diets. He challenges the traditional notion that fat is inherently bad for us and argues that it has been unfairly demonised in nutrition.

Klein delves into the science behind fat metabolism and discusses how our understanding of fats has evolved. He examines the social and psychological factors that have shaped our attitudes towards fat, including the influence of the diet industry and media. Through thought-provoking analysis and research, Klein presents a compelling case for the importance of fat in our diets. He highlights the role of fats in providing essential nutrients, supporting brain function, and contributing to overall health and well-being.

Two of the most attractive chapters for me are “Introduction” (Pages 3-69) and “The Nature of Fat”(Pages 147-196).

Introduction

In “Introduction”, Richard Klein spends a lot of words explaining his opinion about the journey of fat becoming evil in our bodies. There was a passage that caught my attention:

Whereas anorexic men are increasingly being diagnosed and described, the preponderance of eating disorders is found in women. Many of those women are obeying their parents’ explicit orders or implicit wishes in a form of ironic revolt. defying their wishes, they fulfil them beyond their wildest dreams to the last literal letter of the law. So you want me to be thin, I’ll show you thin. The anorexic is a good girl, who does exactly what her parents wish, but in spades- to the death.

Richard Klein/ Eat Fat page 37

His opinion makes me realise that the common characteristic among individuals with eating disorders is excessive concern about others’ opinions, to the extent that they are willing to go to great lengths (such as extreme dieting) to meet others’ standards and gain a sense of approval. These others may include parents, colleagues, and other members of society. Because they were held hostage by some misguided values (unrealistically thin beauty standards) from a young age. Thus individuals with eating disorders do have confidence in themself.

Richard Klein lists three, widely acknowledge and generally understood as follows.

  1. Fat is ugly. Our commitment to a certain slim ideal of human beauty is only about a century old, but it has already become second nature. It has come to seem perfectly natural to hate fat. Even the thin among us dream of dropping five or ten pounds. Losing weight, we imagine, will make us more sexy, productive, and rich. But it’s not just the commercial interest and social value we derive from our investment in thin in a world where fat girls struggle and skinny ones model. Above all, it’s our stake in an idea of beauty that compels us to want to be thin and to encourage others for example, our children- as well. In our eyes in our mind’s eve-we love the look of thin. Fat disgusts.
  2. Fat is unhealthy. The medical-nutrition-insurance-beauty industry has for some time promoted the notion that fat kills, that the more drastically we limit it in our food and on our bodies, the more we increase our chances of longevity. Fat poisons.
  3. Fat weighs us down, slows us up. Our progressive need for greater energy and a desire to step more lightly upon the earth seem at odds with fat. Many of those who have writ-ten about the history of fat in the twentieth century have seen the connection between the dream of thinness and the mod-er desire for greater agility, flexibility, and speed. Energy is the principal gain, it is supposed, from being thin, some kinetic enhancement that makes us more vital, more excited, more suited in our bodies for the exhilarations inspired by the modern pleasures of machine speed. This conviction persists despite the evidence, irrefutably accumulated in repeated studies, that fat people are sexier: they want more sex more often than thin people.

“Eat Fat”, published in 1997, describes a toxic diet phenomenon in American society. It was 26 years ago. Does the over-diet phenomenon disappear? Yes, it still exists. Young girls still keep judging their own bodies. And the dream figures become Kim Kardashian and Bella Hadid. People chase fashion icons or influential people. Meanwhile, a Chinese woman can be seen as a “Chinese Kim Kardashian” in China. Her name is Mengling Yi.

Kim Kardashian

Balenciaga show Paris 2022

Bella Hadid

Vogue France 2022

Mengling Yi

2022 Shanghai

Mengling Yi

2022 Shanghai for CPB

I don’t intend to compare the beauty standards of two countries; I simply want to clarify that, whether in Western or Chinese culture, people often desire an ideal body shape with graceful curves and slender legs. This is not inherently negative, but some women may excessively pursue this physique, overlooking their own health in the process.

Aesthetic standards have evolved over time, reflecting the changing trends of each era. The book’s chapter ‘Fat Beauty’ (Pages 111-146) explores how ancient Western societies once admired curvaceous Greek women but later, with the rise of Christianity, were drawn to slender Gothic actresses. From then on, aesthetic preferences transformed in response to societal demands, leading to today’s modern standards.

Similarly, in China, influenced by its early matriarchal society, the initial aesthetic standard favoured robust women. However, as patriarchal values gained prominence, the ideal shifted towards delicate, slender females. Nevertheless, witnessing a growing awareness among women worldwide is heartening, leading to the diversification of beauty ideals.

The Nature of Fat

In this chapter, Richard Klein starts with the negative impact of over-diet. Surround with this topic. He introduced the development of diet “medicine” in the US market during 20 century 90th and the so-called healthy food trap. This series of phenomena exposes the hidden class gap and the market economy’s rules behind them. Reading through the chapter, I understand the prevalence of dieting was closely linked to the marketing and economic interests of the time.

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2023/06/17 BROT

I visited  London Design Biennale on 8th June in Somerset Hose. And found a really interesting exhibition which calls “BROT” in the Austria pavilion.

For the space, the small, bright room was filled with the aroma of freshly baked bread. Sunlight gently streamed through the glass arch window, glowing warmly on the people inside. The entire exhibition hall was carefully arranged, clearly showcasing the bread-making workflow. From baking machines to illustrated videos, every step was presented in detail. At the corner, there was a small DJ booth where, through headphones, one could hear the rhythmic sound of bamboo sticks tapping against sourdough bread, creating a soothing and playful ambience.

After returning home from the Biennale, I researched for this exhibition. The curator Thomas Geisler said: ” A loaf or slice of bread may seem simple, but there is a curious complexity to the matter of bread. From geopolitical contexts to microbiological processes to multi-sensory experiences, bread and bread making can open up a whole new universe and pathway for transformative design practices.”

Exhibition Poster

Site Photos

Baking Observer

Baking Machines

Bread Recital

DJ booth

“Bakers and Gatherers”

Anna Rosinke, Maciej Chmara

“Brotonists”

Anna Rosinke, Maciej Chmara

“Brotonists”

Anna Rosinke, Maciej Chmara

“Cyber Yeast“

Anna Rosinke, Maciej Chmara

The exhibition showcased the story of sourdough bread to the audience through multiple senses, including sound, aroma, imagery, and tactile experiences. It extended beyond the bread itself and delved into the contradictions between food crisis, traditional craftsmanship, and commercialization. This provided me with great inspiration. After the conclusion of the second intervention, I felt that my project had reached a stagnation point. It made me realize that besides the painting workshops, art therapy could be applied in various other ways to unleash its effects. BROT, with its demonstration of the diverse possibilities of art therapy, gave me significant inspiration for further exploration.

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2023/06/11 Field Trip

This week, we have a short field trip with Zuleika to The New Building near Tottenham Court Road station. It is an open exhibition space organised by Outernet Arts.

The art programme takes place at Outernet London, a new media and culture district at the centre of which is The Now Building, the most advanced digital space to date featuring 23,000 square feet of floor to ceiling, 360 degree, 26K screens across four storeys.
Outernet Arts is a new and free public art initiative heralding the largest digital exhibition space in Europe, dedicated to commissioning and presenting contemporary art via year-round programming in central London. With LED screens stretching across floor-to-ceiling in entirety, covering the expansive interior across five storeys, Outernet Arts serves as a world first in digital exhibition making.

All exhibitions are free and accessible to the public and run every Sunday between 12:00 - 18:00.

The organisation aims to unite an international network of both established and under-represented artists through commissions investigating the intricate concept of ‘the media space.’ In doing so, Outernet Arts functions as a platform in which artist-led projects prompt larger conversations around our lives in a world dominated by the digital era.

The web link: https://www.outernetarts.com/about

The Managing Director Tony Tremlett introduced the urban context, history and function area around the site. It mixes both history and modern times. Interesting site.

Meanwhile, we need to consider the following questions when we arrive there: 

Who is this intervention for?
Who is the intended audience? 
What impact does the intervention create on locals and tourists?
How does the intervention create change?
How does the intervention invite stakeholders and visitors to provide feedback "passively"?
What are the ethical concerns of the intervention?
What research question(s) could have prompted the design of the intervention?
What would you change?
The New Building
LIght Exhibition
The way people join the exhibitin
A wonderful way to present project

It is a beautiful place to host most of the interventions here. The site is located in the heart of the commercial area and has an incalculable (for me) flow of people, state-of-the-art equipment, and open and semi-open showrooms. However, due to the mental health aspect of my project and the high rent, it was not a suitable site for me.

Also, I watch the TEDxChandler – Michelle May – Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat.

Mindful Eating Cycle

This talk reminds me I should go back to focus on “the art therapy for eating disorders” and need to think of a good question.

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2023/06/04 Intervention with Jiqiu

Jiqiu and I co-host an intervention in Hyde Park this weekend. We did a drawing workshop together. Before the workshop started, we discussed workshop locations and sessions and shared relevant art therapy references. Expanding on the experience of previous events with new content.

Event Poster

Event Photos

5 mins exhibation

There were two main elements to this workshop. The first is painting the loneliest moments since coming out to London. After the “Grateful Flow”, and secondly, drawing the moment’s mood.

The Grateful Flow

The Grateful Flow

(As Phil Stutz and Barry Michels described in an article for Goop.)

  1. Start by silently stating specific things you’re grateful for, particularly things you usually take for granted. (You can also include things you are thankful are not in your life.) Go slowly. Feel the gratefulness for each item. Try to create new things for the list each time you use the tool.
  2. After about 30 seconds, stop thinking and focus on the physical sensation of gratefulness. You’ll feel it coming directly from your heart. This energy you are giving out is a Grateful Flow.
  3. Your chest will soften and open as this energy emanates from your heart. In this state, you will feel an overwhelming presence approach you, filled with the power of infinite giving. You’ve made a connection to the Source.

Co-Hosters

Jiqiu and me