2023/01/22 Inspiration: Glen Taylor

Context-Inside

So they told me the rules, “do this” they said.
And I did, and their rules crushed my heart.
So me and my heart, we made our own rules,
and I put my heart in front of you now,
and I dare to love. And I say “do this”
-Glen Taylor, 2022/11/15

Artist Glen Taylor soldiers ridges of metal to porcelain fragments, completing a halved teacup or broken saucer with a range of unusual materials: barbed wire, tarnished silverware, old book pages, and multicoloured twine form a portion of the household objects. Each intervention contrasts the pristine, delicate qualities of the porcelain with visible rust, unwieldy strings, and patchwork metals.

A cabinetmaker for much of his life, Taylor originally worked with pottery but found it limiting until he started breaking his ceramics into pieces. “I had read about the ancient art of Kintsugi and decades before I had learned how to copper foil and solder stained glass windows. All of a sudden I felt the emotional expressive range was infinite,” he writes. A Japanese art form, Kintsugi is the process of fixing broken pottery and celebrating the repairs, rather than try to hide them.

Now, Taylor gathers materials at auctions and estate sales, choosing pieces that spur an emotional response or nostalgia for his childhood, although some objects have a more personal connection. “For years, I have had my grandmother’s dishes in the attic, wondering what to do with them,” he says. “My mother died last year and so I have let the grieving process appear when it needs to. I released a lot of emotions about my mother when I started breaking the dishes that she grew up with.”

The artist tells Colossal that the broken pieces also are symbolic of imperfection. “As I began mending and recreating my broken pottery, the personal therapy and healing became the whole point,” he says. “I reached an age where I began sorting through the emotional baggage of my life, and the elements for my work became apparent.”

Artist’s Instagram: glenmartintaylor

2023/01/22 The Incident

<Friends> Season 1 Episode 13

2016 is an important year for me. I was watching an American TV Drama called . There has a famous script “Remember, they’re just food…they’re not love.” Those words are really like an “Apricity” that comes to me. It likes the warmth of the sun during winter. Because, at that time, I felt utterly exhausted from my eating disorders. I thought I was going to be like this forever.

Luckily, I have new thoughts about food after watching this episode. Food is just food, one of the simplest things in the world. If I eat a lot today, I can eat less tomorrow. I felt pain at that time because I made it complicated. Therefore, I started to correct my diet. Finally, my life has changed.

2023/01/20 What’s inside my box? And the answer is…

Eating Disorder.

According to the NHS definition, It is a mental health condition where unhealthy eating behaviours are used to cope with complicated feelings and issues.

I have suffered from an eating disorder for six years, from 2010 to 2016. It starts in my high school. When an eating disorder strikes, I eat a lot more than usual.

I’m born into a traditional Asia family. Of course, My parents love me. But they also want me to become a “good girl” conventionally, be acquiescent and be gentle. As the time I grew up, I felt lost in my way. On the one hand, I am still in the “good girl” field, making everyone feel happy except myself.

On the other hand, I’ve realised I can have different roles in my life. Not just someone’s daughter. The change in my mind made me feel stressed. However, I couldn’t do anything then because I was just a teenager. Food is the only thing I can control.

Therefore, I start to eat a lot. It is a lot. I can eat a big size pizza by myself for lunch or dinner. After that, I also eat cake, cookies and sugar. “Eat” has become a heavy duty in my daily life. I felt my stomach has a hole. It can afford anything. But apparently, it doesn’t. I throw up, eat, and throw up again—a vicious circle.

Meanwhile, my parents didn’t know I was sick. They just thought I’m just hungry because I was a teenager. A teenager should eat a lot.

I felt shame to tell anyone I’ve got a mental health problem. Because there has an invisible rule for fame in traditional thought: “a girl shouldn’t eat a lot.” It is a wrong thing, but I hadn’t realised that. Therefore, I keep using food to cover my anxiety. And I tried to draw my feelings.

<Sweet Tooth>
2014-2015
A self-portrait to document every cake I’ve ever eaten
<Marshmallo>
2014
Keep track of what I have eaten
<Mint>
2014
<Tiramisu>
2014
<Cooking>
2015
<Gombo>
2016
<Brainstorm>
2015
A self-portrait to show my state of mind at the time
<Out of Control>
2015
<Breakfast>
2015
<Butter Toast>
2016
<Chiffon Cake>
2016

2023/01/17 Meet “Box of Uncertainty”

The second project in my MA Applied Immigration course.

Really abstract subject.

According to the Brief, “We would like you to identify or produce a range of objects, or resources, that can be placed into your ‘box of uncertainties’. These objects and resources are intended to represent materials, artefacts, and experiences in your life that provoke you to ask questions about the unknown or places in your areas of interest that you are uncertain about.” I start to look back at my life experience…