This is the story of the Robinson family —and the aftermath suffered in losing their 26-year-old daughter to bulimia. Working closely with the family, Laia Abril reconstructs Cammy’s life telling her story through memories and flashbacks shared during the family’s grieving process.
The Epilogue is about absence, but also about Cammy’s omnipresence: her energy, her willfulness, her often clandestine struggle with a disorder that truncated her life and capsized the lives of those around her. The book shares the dilemmas and the frustration, the guilt and the sorrow, all blended together in the bittersweet act of remembering their most troubled loved one.
On Eating Disorders, documents and visualises uncomfortable aspects of the most fatal of mental health disorders, and its triggers and taboos. In this third chapter, Abril opens the boundaries of the two of the most avoided topics: death and the subsequent suffering of the collateral victims.
!!!UPDATE FROM THE AUTHOR on 2023/ 12/3: Due to technical issues, the images in this post are not displaying, Please click the link below and view the newest full article.!!!!!!
My fourth intervention is a self-help guidebook. This guidebook focuses on people who have an eating disorder. This zine is currently in the process of being revised with expert input. Qinwen Zhang founded the nonprofit eating disorder organisation “ED HEALER” in China. She will be the expert for this part. We decided to promote the guidebook at Wellington College International Shanghai’s Thanksgiving event on 23rd Nov.
Guidebook outline. After a discussion with Qinwen, the first self-help guidebook concentrates on Right Mindfulness ads.Activity with “ED HEALER” in Wellington College International ShanghaiBooks of this week. Children’s illustrated book “Little Dumplings” inspired the guidebook. And “Research for people who (think they) would rather create.” gives academic support.
Draft of the guidbook
11-15 Final vision
After Qinwen and Ding’s suggestion. The final vision is in below.
Further Plan
In future, I will keep cooperating with ED HEALER. So far, I have confirmed I’ll join the Wellington College International Shanghai Project as my fourth intervention. And I will join the Shanghai Mental Health Center Project, the Shanghai University of Political and Law Project and the University of Toronto Project.
This week, I interviewed Yin Ding, a volunteer team leader of eating disorder support at Shanghai Mental Health Center. She appreciated my zine draft and was interested in collaborating with me. In response to my research, I asked her,
“What is different about localised treatment in China compared to Western treatment? “
Answer by Ding:
The development of eating disorder treatment abroad actually predates that of domestic treatment by 20-30 years. As a result, many of the current treatment methods in China are adaptations of international approaches, such as the psychosomatic model from Germany, and methods like Family-Based Treatment (FBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) from the United States. The treatment approaches used in China are largely derived from these international methods.
The main challenge encountered is related to cultural differences. In China, eating disorders are predominantly focused on Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, and Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID), while clinical cases of Binge-Eating Disorder (BED) are relatively rare. This pattern is influenced by Chinese cultural values that emphasize restraint, self-discipline, idealization, and perfectionism. Such excessive control can lead to the development of behaviors associated with restrictive eating and, even in cases of binge eating, may be accompanied by overwhelming feelings of guilt. Therefore, while treatment methods are similar, the cultural inclination may differ significantly. Additionally, because many treatment approaches originate from abroad, there may be differences in their effectiveness due to variations in family culture. Efforts are being made to find more culturally suitable solutions."
Do you think this zine combined with FBT works?
Answer by Ding:
"I feel that validation through practical application is necessary. Currently, it appears to lack systematicity, and there is a need for clear usage guidelines to complement it.
How can Chinese eating disorders (15-35) establish healthy lifestyles within the family environment via the self-guidebook?
Helping individuals in the age range of 15-35 with eating disorders in China establish healthy lifestyles within the family environment through a self-guidebook can be a constructive approach. Here are some steps to consider:
Develop a Self-Guidebook:
Create a comprehensive self-guidebook that covers various aspects of healthy lifestyles, including nutrition, exercise, mental well-being, and stress management. The guidebook should be culturally sensitive and easy to understand.
Nutrition Education:
Include information about balanced nutrition, portion control, and the importance of consuming a variety of foods. Explain how proper nutrition supports physical and mental health.
Meal Planning and Cooking:
Offer guidance on meal planning and cooking techniques. Encourage readers to involve family members in meal preparation, fostering a sense of collaboration and shared responsibility.
Mindful Eating:
Teach the principles of mindful eating, focusing on being present during meals, recognizing hunger and fullness cues, and avoiding emotional eating.
Exercise and Physical Activity:
Discuss the benefits of regular physical activity and provide suggestions for incorporating exercise into daily routines. Emphasize the importance of choosing activities that individuals enjoy.
Mental Health and Stress Management:
Address the significance of mental well-being and managing stress. Techniques like mindfulness, relaxation exercises, and seeking social support can be included.
Family Support:
Highlight the importance of family support in promoting a healthy lifestyle. Encourage open communication within the family and the understanding of the individual’s needs and challenges.
Goal Setting:
Help readers set realistic and achievable goals for adopting healthy habits. Encourage them to track their progress and celebrate their successes.
Seeking Professional Help:
Emphasize the importance of seeking professional assistance for individuals with eating disorders. The guidebook should provide information on how to access mental health services in China.
Cultural Sensitivity:
Ensure that the self-guidebook takes into account cultural norms and practices in China, as these can have a significant impact on eating habits and lifestyle choices.
Peer Support:
Encourage individuals to seek peer support through support groups or online communities. Sharing experiences and advice with others who have faced similar challenges can be empowering.
Regular Review:
Suggest regular review and reflection on personal progress. Encourage readers to revisit the self-guidebook and make adjustments to their goals and strategies as needed.
Family Involvement:
Promote the active involvement of family members in supporting the individual’s journey toward a healthier lifestyle. This may include participating in meal planning, cooking together, and providing emotional support.
Professional Feedback:
Encourage individuals to seek feedback from healthcare professionals or therapists as they progress in their journey towards a healthy lifestyle.
Accessibility:
Ensure that the self-guidebook is readily accessible in various formats, including print and digital, to reach a broader audience.
The self-guidebook should serve as a valuable resource to empower individuals and their families in China to make positive changes in their lives and support those dealing with eating disorders in establishing healthier lifestyles. It should be adaptable to the unique needs and preferences of each individual and family.
This week, I’d start to think about the structure of the zine. So, a zine has 16 pages in total, including double-sided paint. And each page is A6 paper size.
Process of making zine
A4 paper in total, folding and tailoring
Paper size guide
Each page is A6 size
I set up a 16-page A6 Indesign document.
The content structure includes:
Coverpage – Page 1
Foreword – Page 2
Characters – Page 3
Day 1 – Page 4
Day 2 – Page 5
Day 3 – Page 6
Day 4 – Page 7
Day 5 – Page 8
Day 6 – Page 9
Day 7 – Page 10
Day 8 – Page 11
Day 9 – Page 12
Day 10 – Page 13
Postscript – Page 14 to Page 15
Backpage – Page 16
Content
Before starting the content part, I watched a documentary by researchers from the Eating Disorder Centre of Shanghai Mental Health Centre.
From the WeChat subscription “Lok Hong Wai Ai”, for academic use only. This short documentary film, “Bon appétit” (Eat Well), was co-produced by the SMHC Eating Disorder Clinic and Ivy Ding, a senior in high school. From Ivy’s point of view, the film focuses on people with Eating Disorder (ED) and tells the story of their journey of physical and mental recovery with the help of the Shanghai Mental Health Centre (SMHC) and the community. No man is an island, click on the film, one click public service, care for the ED people around you and me.
In this video (7:28), I find out that Dr. Chen-Director of the Eating Disorder Center, has mentioned:” A relatively effective treatment for eating disorders in adolescents called Family-Based Therapy (FBT). This method leverages the closeness and cohesion inherent in Eastern cultures, making family intervention particularly suitable in China. Parents often maintain a relatively close relationship with their children before marriage, a cultural aspect from the West.”
The Maudsley Method, also known as Family-Based Treatment, can be characterized by an intensive outpatient treatment where parents are integrated as an active and positive role. The primary purposes of including parents in this approach are to incorporate and encourage participation in their child’s recovery journey. This therapy method was originally formulated by Christopher Dare and his colleagues at the Maudsley Hospital in London in 1985. Formerly proposed as a method for the treatment of anorexia nervosa in adolescents, it was devised as therapy that would occur in the home environment with therapeutic supervision by a trained professional.
Since then, the Maudsley Family Therapy approach has been adapted for bulimia nervosa, binge eating, and for older patients as well. Generally, this treatment has three phases which occur over a period of 6-12 months, directed by a family-based therapist, and which involve the entire family in weekly sessions. Parents are guided in the fundamentals of helping their loved one eat (and/or prevent purging and over-exercising) and siblings are supported in collaborating with the patient. Sessions periodically entail a family meal under the guidance of a therapist who can assist in recognizing the various dynamics of the family around the meal.
The Three Phases of the Maudsley Family Approach are as follows:
Phase I – Weight Restoration: In Phase I, a professionally trained therapist concentrates on the various effects associated with anorexia nervosa, particularly physiological, cognitive, and emotional. A major focus of this phase is the restoration of the patient’s weight and the “re-feeding” component. A crucial psychological feature of this primary phase is substantiating the illness.
Phase II – Returning control over eating to the adolescent: Phase II encompasses the patient learning to progressively regain control over their individual eating habits again. This typically commences when the patient’s weight has reached approximately 87% of their ideal body weight.
Phase III – Establishing healthy identity: This phase is initiated when the patient is sufficiently able to sustain their weight above 95% of ideal body weight independently and refrains from engaging in restrictive eating behaviors. Focuses of treatments are primarily on the psychological consequences the eating disorder has had on the patient and the establishment of a healthier identity.
So, how do we make a change? According to the Transtheoretical Model and Stage of Change, TTM, also known as The Stage of Change Model,
The zine will focus on the Phase III of FBT. Of course, a small zine will not wholly change people, but I hope that zines can bring positive thoughts and warmth to people. It mainly focuses on “right mindfulness” (Buddhism), which means developing an accurate and precise awareness of the present moment uncoloured by ideas, memories, beliefs, expectations, etc., just the experience.
Venerable Nyanaponika Mahathera explains in The Road to Inner Freedom:
Right Mindfulness is the quality of awareness. It ensures complete awareness of all activities of the body as they occur, complete awareness of all sensations and feelings as they occur, complete awareness of all activities of the mind as they occur and complete awareness of all mental objects when the appropriate situations arise. This attitude of complete awareness brings about powerful results. It sharpens to the finest degree man’s powers of observation, induces the deepest calm and ensures that nothing is said or done or thought unguardedly or hastily, mechanically or without deliberation. He who develops this factor is able to take count of every single and minute activity of the mind, even such activities as are generally considered to occur when the mind is passive and receptive; so penetrating and powerful is his sense of awareness. (70)
Guide
Based on the above research, the zine’s content is divided into two parts: internal thinking and external connection. I set a ten-day journey with readers. The internal thinking part helps readers to focus on the right mindfulness. The external connection parts encourage readers to reach out to the outside world and build a comfortable, trusting external environment.
Diagram of the content
Characters
For the characters in the zine. I created six gentle and friendly animal characters. Have these characters lead the reader through self-healing activities
Lop rabbit
West Highland Terrier
Ducks
Capybara
Brown bear
Hedgehogs
I got in touch with the Chinese eating disorder charity “ED HEALER,” and I will have a videoconference with the founder Qinwen and other members of the organisation on the 26th of October to discuss the zine. I will also participate in a painting exhibition about eating disorders in cooperation with Shanghai Mental Health Center at the end of this year or the beginning of next year. At the end of this year or next year, I will also participate in an exhibition of paintings about eating disorders in collaboration with ED HEALER and Shanghai Mental Health Center.
For the next intervention, I am going to make an digital zine to assist people with eating disorders to establish good habits in their daily lives.
So far, my experts include a sociologist from Tsinghua University, a psychiatry researcher from Sun Yat-sen University, and an expressive arts therapist in Macau. Volunteers team leader of Eating Disorder Centre of Shanghai Mental Health Centre.
Interview with Hux Hexiao Ding
Background of Ding:
Fellowship in Psychiatry in Sysu
Sun Yat-sen University (SYSU)- Public Health- 2020
The Hong Kong Polytechnic University (PolyU) – Medical Physics Lab- 2024
Ding was preparing to carry out research on eating disorders as opening material for his PhD. He came across my personal website through an internet search and therefore contacted me to express his interest in my project and to collaborate afterwards.
The following is my interview with Ding.
S: Hey, my name is Shuang Zheng. Currently, I am studying MA Applied Imagination at Central Saint Martins. I'd like to ask you about localised research on Eating Disorders (ED) in China.
D: Hey Shuang.I'm Ding. Unfortunately, China's research in this area is almost nil. I see you have art therapy workshops on your site, which is something that has been done and researched in other mood disorders, but Eating Disorder is still very much in its infancy and there is very little research on it, so to speak.
S:Yes, in fact, by the end of the day I felt that there were industry barriers to doing art therapy, after all, I was not educated in professional psychological research. Moreover, the information I have read so far is all interpreted in the context of Western psychology. I did a questionnaire during the summer holiday, and I felt that the word "eating disorder" is not well understood in China. There are regional differences, for example, developed cities on the southeast coast know more about it, but inland cities know very little about it.
D:Yes, this disease was also included in the disease code the year before. (2021) It can be said to be in its infancy worldwide.
S:I feel that "art healing" has gained a lot of attention on the internet in China, but very few people are actually doing it for the purpose of helping patients, and basically it's all about making a profit. That's why I'm taking a step back and trying to popularise eating disorders.
D: Yes, this kind of PROGRAM needs money to start. We are usually get funds from the university. I think doing a QUALITATIVE RESEARCH and getting it published is a great POINT, and I've read that you've done a lot of interviews, which are actually still pretty good, and totally worth writing about.
S:I understand that Shanghai Mental Health Center opened an eating disorder clinic the year before last.
D:Yes, the country is still in its infancy, and many of us are at our wits' end when it comes to diagnosing eating disorders. The prevalence rate is still high, and it's hard to detect.I think sociologically you should interpret his symptoms, for example, the interviews you do can be written as qualitative research. for their motivation, is there a psychological model that can be quantified, that's what I'm thinking about. Sociological and psychological research methodologies are similar. I think, if you have an idea, you can start by putting together the interviews, many medical journals will accept qualitative research. that is, qualitative research. I think, if you have an idea, you can start by putting together interviews, and many medical journals will accept qualitative research. I think this makes a lot of sense, and I'm very encouraged by what you've written. Mainly I want to promote eating disorder in China.
According to experts and online resources, establishing healthy eating habits in a family environment, especially within a group that includes individuals with eating disorders, requires a sensitive and supportive approach. Here are some strategies that eating disorder support groups can consider to promote a healthier eating environment within families:
Education and Awareness:
Start by educating both individuals with eating disorders and their family members about the nature of eating disorders, their triggers, and the importance of healthy eating.
Raise awareness about the emotional and psychological aspects of eating disorders to foster understanding and empathy within the family.
Professional Guidance:
Encourage families to seek professional help from therapists, nutritionists, and dietitians who specialize in eating disorders. These experts can create personalized eating plans and provide guidance on recovery.
Open Communication:
Promote open and non-judgmental communication within the family. Encourage family members to express their concerns, feelings, and needs related to food and eating habits.
Family Meals:
Reintroduce regular family meals as a supportive and bonding activity. Ensure these meals are relaxed, enjoyable, and free from food-related stress.
Meal Planning:
Collaborate with a nutritionist or dietitian to create balanced meal plans for the entire family. Emphasize variety, moderation, and balanced nutrition.
Model Healthy Behaviors:
Parents and caregivers should model healthy eating behaviors themselves. Children often learn by observing adults, so setting a positive example is crucial.
Eliminate Trigger Foods:
Remove or limit access to foods that trigger eating disorder behaviors. Discuss these changes with the individual who has an eating disorder to ensure their comfort.
Avoid Food Comments:
Encourage family members to avoid making comments about body weight, appearance, or food choices. Negative remarks can contribute to anxiety and exacerbate eating disorders.
Supportive Environment:
Create a supportive atmosphere where individuals with eating disorders feel safe and understood. Encourage them to share their feelings and struggles without fear of judgment.
Gradual Changes:
Understand that change takes time. Progress may be slow, and relapses can occur. Be patient and continue to offer support and encouragement.
Seek Group Support:
Consider involving the family in support groups or therapy sessions tailored for families of individuals with eating disorders. These groups provide a safe space to discuss challenges and learn from others.
Celebrate Achievements:
Acknowledge and celebrate small victories and positive steps toward healthier eating habits. Positive reinforcement can motivate individuals in their recovery journey.
Set Realistic Goals:
Work with a therapist or counselor to set realistic goals for recovery. These goals should be achievable and adapted to the individual’s progress.
Each individual’s journey toward healthy eating habits is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Professional guidance and a supportive, understanding family environment areessentialf recovery from eating disorders.
Master Chef Chu (Sihung Lung) is semi-retired and lives at home with his three unmarried daughters, Jia-Jen (Kuei-Mei Yang), a religious chemistry teacher; Jia-Chien (Chien-Lien Wu), an airline executive; and Jia-Ning (Yu-wen Wang), an employee at a fast-food joint. Life at the family’s house revolves heavily around preparing and eating an elaborate dinner every Sunday. The stability of these meals gives them all strength as they deal with new romantic relationships and disappointments.
<Deadly Delicious>
A successful man who is in between two women, one mature and sexy, the other innocent and beautiful, has two completely different types of women at his disposal, enjoying their different bodies and all the flavours they cook up. He thought he had done a good job of keeping one woman from knowing the other existed, and both loved him beyond measure. Suddenly one day the man noticed that his hair started falling out, his eyebrows were falling out, and even his sexual function was declining. The man goes into a terrible panic, and at that moment the two women start a new fight.
After a busy moving home time, finally, I can sit down and write a new post again. So in the past two weeks, I spent much time moving home. Besides, I read roughly two books called “The body is not an Apology” by New Yorker writer Sonya Renee Taylor and “i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki” by Korean writer Baek Sehee. They are two different books. For me, “The body is not an Apology” is like a big sister encouraging you don’t be ashamed of your body that doesn’t conform to society’s aesthetic standards. You are a member of the human community and have an equal right to love and be loved. However, “i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki” is more like a young girl describing the pain she suffered growing up, particularly the traditional East Asian family environment as the root cause of her depression and anxiety. As an Asia woman, I feel it relates to my growing-up experience.
Before reading those two books, I watched an academic documentary called “Sources of Cultural Differences between China and the West”, a lecture by Professor Wang Defeng, School of Philosophy at Fudan University, in 2014. (“中西方文化差异的渊源” 复旦大学哲学学院王德峰教授，2014). Like the lecture title, Professor Wang explained the essential differences between Chinese and Western cultures from a historical perspective. I made a diagram to show some key points he mentioned in the lecture.
OverviewThe “learning from the West” partThe “What China is facing now” partThe “difference between Chinese and Western culture” partThe “Why we can’t be Westerners” part
I watched Professor Wang’s lecture because I made a questionnaire to search for knowledge of eating disorders in Chinese social groups. In the questionnaire, I used some interrogative questions to complete my research, but I still need to get satisfactory results from this questionnaire. For many people, “eating disorder” is an unfamiliar word, a direct translation from English, making people feel that this is a rigid questionnaire. So I decided to step back and look for the underlying logic of the differences between Chinese and Western cultures.
After watch finished the lecture, I thought maybe I should think of “eating disorders” as a phenomenon rather than a mental illness. I should be thinking about why people infuse their emotions into their food. I want to back to “FOOD” rather than seek the entire thing. So for my next intervention, I want to do a barter game where I start by inviting people to share their stories with me about their food and I’ll give back an illustration. At the end of the day, I want to bring these stories and illustrations together as a healing piece of work. So for my next intervention, I want to do a barter game where I start by inviting people to share their stories with me about their food and I’ll give back an illustration. At the end of the day, I want to bring these stories and illustrations together as a healing piece of work.
Back to the books -“The Body is not an Apology” and “i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki”. I feel the cultural difference between Asia and the Western world through reading. Compared with Westerners, Asian people are more subtle, and very few of us will say our love outright, and we prefer to use third-point-of-view stories to illustrate thoughts and love, which are more like fables. This is another reason I want to collect people’s food stories in my next intervention cause it seems more acceptable among Chinese society groups.
This week, I had a tutorial with Zuleika. In this tutorial, I figure out my further plan for the project. First, I describe the two interventions and references I’ve read since the independent study period started, which are <EAT FAT> and <The Eating Disorder Sourcebook>. Also, I mentioned I’m reading <The Art Therapies>.
Zuleika asked me: “What’s your question?” I type, ” How to design an art therapy for the Chinese eating disorders group from 16-30?” I choose this age group because, at this age, people can start to realise they got an eating disorder. Also, in China, several people up to 40 probably don’t know what eating disorders are. It comes from my experience and early interviews with the eating disorders group. Zuleika suggested I need more references to support this theory. And it seems I am more interested in “Why Chinese people got eating disorders” than “Art therapy of eating disorders.” I will figure it out.
Could you write down the project question 20 times?
How to create art therapies for Chinese eating disorder groups from 16-30?
How about the Chinese eating disorders group from 16-30?
Why do Chinese people have eating disorders?
What’s different between Chinese and Western eating disorders?
Does the traditional Chinese family culture cause Chinese eating disorders?
Does the beautification standards affect Chinese eating disorders?
Does the beautification standards affect Chinese female eating disorders?
Why Chinese female have eating disorders?
The female beautification practices are part of eating disorders or eating disorders are part of female beautification practices?
Which forms of family relationships are more likely to cause eating disorders?
Does traditional Chinese family authority create eating disorders?
What is the social significance of food anyway?
Does Paternity produce female beautification practices?
Why food has so many meaning?
Why can food represent human emotions?
What’s the healing power of food?
…
Zuleika recommends the term “Fatphobia” and the book “The Body is Not An Apology” by Sonya Renee Taylor.
The “Fatphobid” means:
The social stigma of obesity is broadly defined as bias or discriminatory behaviours targeted at overweight and obese individuals because of their weight and high body fat percentage. Such social stigmas can span one's entire life, as long as excess weight is present, starting from a young age and lasting into adulthood. Studies also indicate overweight and obese individuals experience higher levels of stigma than others.
In addition, they marry less often, experience fewer educational and career opportunities, and earn less than normal-weight individuals on average. Although public support regarding disability services, civil rights, and anti-workplace discrimination laws for obese individuals have gained support over the years, overweight and obese individuals still experience discrimination, which may have detrimental implications for physiological and psychological health. These issues are compounded by the significant negative physiological effects already associated with obesity, which some have proposed may be caused by stress from the social stigma of obesity rather than from obesity per se.
Anti-fat bias refers to prejudicial assumptions based on assessing a person as being overweight or obese. It is also known as "fat shaming" or "fatphobia". Anti-fat bias can be found in many facets of society, and fat activists commonly blame mass media and popular culture for the pervasiveness of this phenomenon.
Also, I created a questionnaire-“A survey on understanding of eating disorders by Chinese contemporary social groups“. In this questionnaire, I set up a split survey, targeting the eating disorder group in China and the people around them so that I can better understand the current situation.
The questionnaire received 96 simple. Most participants were from the Southeast Coast in China. 50% were aware of eating disorders, 7% had suffered from or were experiencing an eating disorder, and 15.62% were unsure if they had an eating disorder. In the eating disorder group questionnaire, with a sample of 22, 59% were unwilling to tell others that they had an eating disorder, but 64% were ready to receive professional treatment.
In contrast, in the questionnaire for the non-eating disorder group, 79.73% did not know if a family member or friend had an eating disorder, and 13.51% were unsure if a family member or friend had an eating disorder. However, they would support their family members or friends to have professional psychotherapy and listen to them. This questionnaire demonstrates the potential for eating disorders to become more widespread in China.
Facing the Eating disorder group.
Facing the people around the Eating disorder group.
The questionnaire shows that eating disorders are a social phenomenon in Chinese society. After thought, I found out my most interesting point is people’s knowledge and attitudes around the eating disorder group rather than eating disorders themselves. According to data, most people have a vague idea of this mental state but can’t fully understand it. The Chinese term “eating disorder” is a direct translation of the English term, an academic term of Western medical origin that is unfamiliar and does not bring emotional or cultural relevance to the Chinese people. At the same time, In my previous research, I was too obsessed with studying eating disorders, which also filled my psyche with pain and anguish. Therefore, after receiving the results of this survey, I wanted to learn more about people’s attitudes towards food. When people can’t understand why people with eating disorders make eating painful, I was more interested in understanding the multiplicity of emotions behind food.
“A Lot of Money to Seek Mother” (重金求母) is a performance art by Chinese artist Yaqi Zou (邹雅琦). She hired seven women as her mum for 21 days at ¥3000 (£325) per person. The series continues, with three mothers appearing so far.
I was very much touched by the second mother’s episode. In one scene, Yaqi takes off all her clothes in front of the mother, and then explains to the character of the “mother” how the “daughter”, as an individual, should deal with this close but fading relationship as she grows up. She was always complimented on her slim figure by people around her. Her clothes were always only extra small sizes. She always thought I should look like her. I always looked out of place against her, the main pitfall planted in my early childhood to trigger an eating disorder. I was always in love with her. But when I was a teenager, I also hated her with respect.
Scene from “A Lot of Money to Seek Mother”
“My arm”“We are entirely different.”
By Yaqi Zou：
"This should be the first time you've seen me as an adult woman. This is my front, my back, and my side profile. And then, my hair, soft and long. I also have a very beautiful face. But I believe my face is the result of combinations in this world, not entirely your creation.
My shoulder width is about 39, my bust is 85, my hips are 97, and my head circumference is 57. These are my hands, my fingers, and my arms. I have removed almost all the hair from my body. This is my face; the only thing I've done is to get a 20U jaw angle, so I have a narrower jawline. Apart from that, I love my waist, the muscles under my fat, my hips, and my legs. I have always been told that my legs are thick since I was little, and I don't hide or care about being scrutinized about my body. I am satisfied with it, and I am satisfied with myself.
But this is the first time I am showing you how I look like. You must feel very unfamiliar, and I'm sure it's different from what you imagined. You and I are undoubtedly two completely different individuals. We are entirely different. I don't know if you like me - my body and my thoughts.
What did I look like when I was a child? It must be completely different from now, but I don't remember anymore, but you must remember. I am very, very good at makeup, and I started wearing makeup since junior high school. I only recently started enjoying sports. My body fat percentage is not too low; it's 24%, and my muscle percentage is 71%. This is my skin, my muscles, and my bones that make me up. My genes come from you, but I must look unexpected. My youth, my beauty, my muscles, they don't come entirely from you. You and I are both the creations of the creator and the mother of the earth; I'm just produced by using your body, not created by you. So I don't belong to you, and my youth is not exchanged for yours. I don't owe you. I heard that when I was in grandma's belly, I was already growing in your ovaries. A long, long time ago, we were both grandma's children. You and grandma are also the children of grandma's mother.
Your past was me, and I will also become you. Does time take away or give?
What I want to say is, when you see me as a mother, don't be afraid, and I won't feel guilty anymore. The body you see in front of you is not entirely your creation, and it doesn't belong to you either. The relationship between us doesn't seem so close; I haven't figured out these questions yet. But I know it's time to show you who I am.
No matter what, you are beautiful to me now, and I hope you can recognize my beauty too. I hope you can be honest. You don't have to praise me, but you don't have to reject me either.
This is how I look, and I didn't take it away from you. I haven't figured out many questions yet, I hate you mum, but I also love you."
I mainly read “The Eating Disorder Sourcebook” (1996) by Carolyn Costin for the last two weeks. In this book, Carolyn describes the history of eating disorders, the types of eating disorders, and the internal and external factors that cause them. Meanwhile, Carolyn also lists the further treatments for eating disorders, which include professional treatment and family treatment, which includes treatment dialogue between herself and the patient.
In addition, Carolyn suffered eating disorder for a long time. So she clearly understands the feeling of being an eating disorder. Through reading, I can feel her. Her writing, full of empathy, also keeps a professional attitude. So I will document her valuable thoughts in this post.
The content with the following aspects discusses what affects eating disorders.
Sociocultural: A look at the cultural preference for thinness, and the current epidemic of body dissatisfaction and dieting, with an emphasis not only on weight loss but also on the ability to control one’s body as a means of gaining approval, acceptance, and self-esteem.
Psychological: The exploration of underlying psychological problems, developmental deficits, and traumatic experiences such as sexual abuse, which contribute to the development of disordered eating or exercise behaviors as coping mechanisms or adaptive functions.
Biological: A review of the current information available on whether or not there is a genetic predisposition or biological status that is at least partly responsible for the development of an eating or activity disorder.
Chapter 4: Sociocultural Influences on Eating, Weight, and Shape
In today’s culture, thinness represents not only attractiveness but also self-sacrifice, virtue, success, and control. The pervasive attitude seems to be that the more fat one has on his or her body, the more unattractive, self-indulgent, lazy, and out of control one is.
With the slogan, “Just the Right Shape”, one wonders what is being sold, the body or the outfit? Media advertisements like these both reflect and shape our perceptions and standard of beauty.
It may be that the media pressure to diet is a major influence on the occurrence of eating disorders in otherwise vulnerable women and men.” Since the culturally prescribed body weight is so unrealistically low and since mountains of evidence show that diets don’t work (approximately 98 percent of those who lose weight gain it back), it follows that some individuals will resort to extreme measures such as starving or purging in order to deal with their dissatisfaction over their figures or sizes, striving to obtain “Just the Right Shape.”
Most ads and diet products are directed toward females, but males are no longer spared. Males are increasingly portrayed as ora-mental objects and targeted for the purchase of beauty and weight loss products, as women have been since advertising began. Is it a coincidence that the incidence of males with eating disorders is also increasing?) Still, eating disorders remain a predominantly female problem, with females accounting for approximately 90 to 95 percent of all known cases. In regard to this gender distribution, it may seem obvious, but cannot be minimized, that historically men are judged more for what they do and women for how they look. Of the many Life magazine covers that have featured women over the last fifty years, only nineteen featured women who were not actresses or models- that is, women who were not on the cover because of their beauty (Wolf 1991). Women have always been taught that their value is associated with their appearance and their bodies.
It is our society, not any particular woman’s psyche, which has brought about the undue influence that weight and shape play on self-esteem.
And now our wonderful technology can remove fat from our thighs and add it to our breasts. Plastic surgery for cosmetic reasons is being performed on children as young as twelve. It is interesting to note that although eating disorders are increasingly appearing in all cultures around the world, Westernized women seem to be at greater risk for developing them, and the degree of Westernization seems to increase the risk (Dolan 1991). Evidence suggests that anorexia and bulimia nervosa, although present, are uncommon outside the Western world and in less affluent Western countries. Furthermore, when immigrants move from less industrialized countries to more industrialized countries they are more likely to develop eating disorders.
My Though:
With China's rapid economic development and increasing industrialisation, eating disorders are now becoming a common phenomenon among the Chinese population (mainly women), but due to the lack of widespread education in psychology and nutrition, as well as the lack of professional knowledge, not many people are aware of their eating disorders, which makes them ashamed of their behaviour and unable to seek help from the outside world in a timely manner. East Asian women are more introverted than their Western counterparts, and have been brought up with the social precept that they should "not express your feelings easily, and keep silent most of the time".
Women have gone through fundamental changes in their place in society, both economically and politically, and thinness has come to symbolise control, wealth, independence, and freedom. Whereas at one time, it was virtuous to abstain from sex, it has now become virtuous to abstain from food. Even thinness is no longer enough. The contemporary feminine ideal includes being thin and physically fit.
Eating disorders need to be understood within the context of the current culture, where the idea that thinness is attractive and desirable for females is so commonly accepted that it is rarely even questioned.
Starving, stuffing, and purging women are trying desperately to gain acceptance, approval, control, and love through external validation of their bodies. Eating disorders are not about food or weight but a disordered “sense of self” looking for approval and finding it, however temporarily, in the pursuit of thinness or the comfort of food.
These women are all expressing a deeper struggle than thin versus fat. In essence, they are describing a struggle for power, success, and control. The issue becomes mind over matter. We look up to people who can lose weight and keep it off even if they are unhealthy and unhappy. The ultimate power felt by anorexics is that they do without, punish their bodies, and make them obey. The increased incidence of eating disorders in certain subgroups of our population that stress these ideals along with thinness, such as ballerinas, models, gymnasts, and jockeys, lends even further credence to the cultural factor in the causes of eating disorders.
Eating disorders are highly complex and are the manifestation not only of our culture but also of various underlying struggles in the core of the personality and even the biochemistry of each individual afflicted.
Chapter 5: Eating Disorder Behaviors Are Adaptive Function
A struggling will, an insecure feeling, and despair may manifest themselves in problems with the care and feeding of the body but are fundamentally a problem with the care and feeding of the soul. In her aptly titled book The Obsession, Kim Chernin has wit ten, The body holds meaning . .. when we probe beneath the surface of our obsession with weight, we will find that a woman obsessed with her body is also obsessed with the limitations of her emotional life. Through her concern with her body, she is expressing serious concern about the state of her soul.” What are the emotional limitations commonly seen in individuals with eating disorders? What is the state of their souls?
Common State of Being for The Eating Disordered Individual:
Low self-esteem
Diminished self-worth
Belief in the thinness myth
Need for distraction
Dichotomous (black or white) thinking
Feeling of emptiness
Quest for perfection
Desire to be special/unique
Need to be in control
Need for power
Desire ffor respect and admiration
Diffuculty expressing feeling
Need for escape or a safe place to go
Lack of coping skills
Lace of trust in self and others
Terrified of not measuring up
Eating disorder symptoms serve some purpose that goes beyond weight loss, food as comfort, or an addiction, and beyond a need to be special or in control. Eating disorder symptoms can be seen as behavioural manifestations of a disordered self, and the purpose or meaning of the behavioural symptoms can be discovered through understanding and working with this disordered self.
The development of an eating disorder can begin early in life when childhood needs and mental states are not properly responded to by caregivers and thus get disowned, repressed, and shunted off into a separate part of a person’s psyche. The child develops deficits in his or her capacities for self-cohesion and self-esteem regulation. At some point in time, the individual learns to create a system whereby disordered eating patterns, rather than people, are used to meet needs because previous attempts with caregivers have brought about disappointment, frustration, or even abuse.
The development of an eating disorder can begin early in life when childhood needs and mental states are not properly responded to by caregivers and thus get disowned, repressed, and shunted off into a separate part of a person’s psyche. The child develops deficits in his or her capacities for self-cohesion and self-esteem regulation. At some point in time, the individual learns to create a system whereby disordered eating patterns, rather than people, are used to meet needs because previous attempts with caregivers have brought about disappointment, frustration, or even abuse.
a distorted self-image (I am selfish, bad, stupid)
no self-image ( I don’t deserve to be heard or seen, I don’t exist)
Adaptive Function of Eating Disorders
Comfort, soothing, nurturance
Numbing, sedation, distraction
Attention, cry for help
Discharge tension, anger, rebellion
Predictability, structure, identity
Self-punishment or punishment of “the body”
Cleanse or purify self
Create small or large body for protection/safety
Avoidance of intimacy
Symptoms prove “I am bad” instead of blaming others (for example, abusers)
Sexual Abuse
Although researchers have used varying definitions of sexual abuse and methodologies in their studies, the above figures show that sexual trauma or abuse in childhood is a risk factor for developing eating disorders. Furthermore, clinicians nationwide have experienced countless women who describe and interpret their eating disorders as connected to early sexual abuse. Anorexics have described starvation and weight loss as trying to avoid sexual alit and thus evade or escape sexual drive, feelings, or potential perpetrators. Bulimics have described their symptoms as a way of purging the perpetrator, raging at the violator or oneself, and getting rid of the filth or dirtiness inside of them. Binge eaters have suggested that overeating numbs their feelings, distracts them from other bodily sensations, and results in weight gain that “armours” them and keeps them unattractive to potential sexual partners or perpetrators.
Chapter 7: Assessing The Sotuation
Checklist of Observable and Nonobervable Sighs of an Eating Disorder
Chapter 8 :Guidelines for Significant Others
Friends and Family members are often the forgotten victim of eating disorders.
Pick a time and place where there will be no interruptions and no need to hurry
Be empathetic and Understanding
Express your concern about what you have observed and speak from your own experience
Provide information about resources for treatment
Do not argue oof get into a power struggle
Accept your limitaions
Recovery from anorexia and bulimia takes approximately four-and-a-half to six-and-a-half years.
Chapter 9: Treatment Philosophy and Approaches
Three main philosophical approaches to the treatment of eating disorders.
